CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

  • When it gets a little wacky!

    Recently I’ve had recurring conversations with people who feel off track with their goals and unsure where to put their time and energy.

    It happens at this time of year doesn’t it? The fact is, when we feel stressed and overwhelmed, we sometimes forget to do the things that help us.

    We all have some simple systems that have always supported us, especially when things get a little ‘wacky.’

    Whenever I feel like I’m wobbling or a bit lost on what to do next, that’s usually a sign I’ve let some of my core habits and systems slip.

    It’s a sure sign I need to return to what works.

    To give you an idea, here are a handful of things that help me stay on track or, in this case, get back on track.

    Write stuff down – I’ve said it before. Journaling is like having a personal therapist right beside you. Sadly though, when stress levels rise, my instinct is to ignore the therapy stuff and leap straight into work. I shouldn’t but that’s what I do. Writing stuff down, usually in the morning is one of the most helpful things I do to make sense of thoughts, stuff going on in my brain.

    At the end of each day? I handwrite my plan for the next. It’s good grounding, you know the feeling? Too much to do can keep us from doing it, when it’s exactly what I need to stay focused and productive. Write stuff down!

    Take a break, hydrate!  The benefits of drinking water are well established. It’s silly, but it’s one of the things I forget to do, like going for a walk …

    Clear junk! – Messaging. It’s important, right? I see the most important messages helping me stay on top of the most important communication and get in and out of my inbox quickly. If after a couple of days I haven’t acted on some of the mail inbox – I delete them, creating space …  there’s plenty to help ourselves, helping friends is also a great way to do that, help ourselves.

    I do understand these are all pretty basic, but that’s the point.

    These are simple systems that support me. And there are simple things you do in your way that help make things run smoothly.

    So let’s not abandon the routine support systems we need most, remember, they work – and are cheaper than the therapist!

  • Don’t look back

    Are you wondering how you might fare when choosing to ‘work for yourself?’

    Each of us ‘work for ourselves’ whether as an employee, a sole trader or a company director. We’re all looking to build better through personal experience.

    In this instance though, let’s look at one or two reasons why being a freelancer makes you stand out from the crowd:

    1. Your name is on the can!  You have the luxury of focusing on business your way. Deciding where to concentrate your efforts and for how long. You are seen to be in control, which allows your expertise and dedication to shine through … often making a lasting impact on clients.

    2. You have the power!  Forget the red tape and party politics. When working directly with clients, there’s a personal connection that fosters collaboration through trust. There are fewer middlemen – leading to more transparency!

    3. Opportunities that suit your skillset!  As someone with a certain set of skills, you are a valuable connection to any thriving business. As opposed to in-house teams you have a select expertise that is highly sought after.

    4. Flexibility. As a freelancer, you’re able to manage your schedule. There’s more productivity, an efficiency at every level, from the dialogue to the production/supply process. This leads to greater customer satisfaction.

    5. Recognising your Value. Many larger corporations and agencies rely on freelancers to handle overflow projects. By offering your services directly, you cut out the middleman and unlock the full value of your talent. It’s easy to overlook the value we bring. Take pride in knowing that freelance expertise is in high demand; clients show a high appreciation of the added value you bring to their projects.

    Most importantly …

    6. Look forward to growth! As an independent, there’s the opportunity to develop valuable relationships with clients. Through direct collaboration, over time, you establish a network of satisfied clients who refer your skills to others. 

    The greatest compliment is a recommendation delivered by word of mouth. Embrace those skills you have, Knowing that, as a freelancer, your skills are highly sought-after and form a valuable part of the economic impact. Wherever sector you represent, your business will always thrive through transparency and collaboration.

  • Look again
  • Who said that?

    Remember the days before regular networking? When working for yourself, you planned the day the night before, where to go, and who you may need to speak to with a view to inspiring interest in what you have to offer? Constantly working on ‘leads.’ You do? Me too.

    In reality, life before networking has never existed. 

    Mankind has been gathering in communities (tribes) of like-minded groups to share views, and advice,developing relationships since time began. It’s where we take succour and comfort, it’s where we develop, amongst a whole host of other things, a reliable reputation.

    Planning the day the night before?  Not if you are a networker. Those in business who are connected, with a regular date for business development and support have skills attained through vision, one of the many benefits of conversation.

    Every day we’re able to build new business around networking. Think about it, if we reach out to someone sharing a common goal, perhaps offering support via new contacts, we set ourselves tasks. The smartest embrace those tasks and set about fulfilling them.

    The most successful networkers? It’s those who create multiple objectives on their to-do list. Objectives are opportunities to help someone at each meeting we attend. Smart business people create busy, business …

    Not only to benefit themselves but because those that they help remember the positive support and so pass that good impression on. That’s how we become a valuable member of a tribe, being someone who offers help and inspires others to give support. 

    Strong communities are created by pro-active networks, we see this in the social media world – those with the likes/the followers inspire more of the same.

    Therefore before you dispel the benefits of structured in-person networking … consider where your next important piece of business is coming from. Think to yourself, ‘How do I get there?’

    Most likely it’s ‘Chinese whispers,’ yes, through word-of-mouth. Perhaps your reputation as a pro-active problem solver, happy to help others has reached the ears of someone new … through networking.

    ‘People buy from people.’

  • Only on Monday

    I’m lucky to have met some lovely people through networking. There are many, of course, who move on as the job or career takes them out of my immediate contact zone. Although, I’m very grateful to have connections with whom I’ve developed strong relationships I can rely on. I count these as my friends.

    It’s comfortable when we do business together as friends. Don’t you think? It’s easy because we share time, know each other, and share similar values. There’s a level of trust because we’ve been lucky to see each other develop a sense of commonplace.

    Finding myself grateful for a strong community in my network didn’t happen overnight.

    There are, of course, some days when it’s easier to feel gratitude than others. Monday comes to mind. For example, sometimes people can frustrate you. Perhaps, they’ve disappointed you, or they let themselves down by not reaching out to others when the opportunity presents itself. Some are quick to blame others for not meeting their goals, we see that often don’t we? 

    I think that taking a deep breath, and looking past the disappointments to find the gratitude for the good things we see in other people helps a lot with patience.

    Patience is an important part of gratitude.

    Patience starts at home. On a bad day (yes, I get them too) I’ve made it a habit to take moments to myself for gratitude. I like to step away from the chaos, only for a moment, giving myself a better opportunity to recognise the good things happening. Not necessarily starting a gratitude journal or going to meditate … the separation alone is often enough to get me thinking. I like to step out with the dog or step over the bike; getting a little exercise and breathing fresh air helps me remember and appreciate the good things.

    Although like you, there are times the pace of life takes me past the time for a break. That’s easy when we’re working all-in, we forget that we are all products of our efforts …

    Here’s something to remind you to cherish the ‘attitude of gratitude’

    • Think of one thing you’re grateful for. Then write it down and share it with a close friend.
    • Incorporate gratitude into your regular presentations. Ask others to share “I’m grateful for ____.”
    • Make time every week to personally express your gratitude to someone in your network either verbally or in a written note.

    Because, ‘people buy from people.’

  • Tattlers are good!

    “I’ve so much on right now Charlie, there’s no time for networking.”

    I was attempting to have a conversation with self-employed Bill. He’d recently returned from holidays and coming to terms with ‘picking up the pieces,’ (his words, not mine.)  Bill set up his car refurb business a few months back and he was busy with a full order book … until August arrived.

    I pointed out to Bill that the holiday months have proved a good time for opportunities in the past. With fewer demands on our time, there’s more clarity. There’s more time to assess the business direction.

    ‘Not forgetting Bill … 

    Your existing clients are back to business soon, so before long there’s a new season. The commuter transport will need to be ready – and who knows, you may not have time for new business, let alone networking?’

    Bill then confided in me…

    “You see Charlie, I don’t like talking about myself, I prefer to remain anonymous.”

    I admitted to Bill that this was once my preference. I’d advertise, pick a listing in a directory, even a mail-drop.Anything but cold call, in person.

    This was well before social media. Even now there are times I shield myself behind my logo.

    “So what drove you to Networking, Charlie? I couldn’t think of anything worse than standing up in front of a room full of strangers.”

    I could tell Bill was a little less agitated now, he was looking to talk.

    ‘There was a time I was looking for an antidote to the selly-sell of social media marketing, Bill. 

    I accepted an invitation from a friend. She made me realise that networking may not be right for everybody although it’s right for every business. 

    The day arrived and I was apprehensive, the same as you would be Bill. I’d heard exaggerated stories of public exposure and humiliation although I trusted my pal, who said:

    If it helps Charlie, don’t talk about yourself. Instead, mention a friend with a particular need or who is looking for support.’

    Bill replied, “I thought networking was about you, growing the business Charlie, not someone else?”

    You’re right. Networking should be easy – and over time it becomes easier.

    By talking of something else other than yourself we take the pressure off. Declaring support for someone else exposes the human element. Networking is about showing that you care.  

    What goes around comes around … once people know and trust you.

    Build your reputation by understanding that ‘people buy from people’ and networking will help you.

  • Go on, go meet up

  • A little light relief.

    The topic of conversation was anger. How does anger it affect you?  Is there an emotional outburst or is it more an affront to your mental or emotional well-being?

    The question came up at my regular yoga class with Harsha Moore. We weren’t expecting the question and there was some coaxing before the answers came.

    ‘I like to create space when angry, I spend time in nature, try and be calm.’ came a response.  

    Someone else mentioned that he would move to seek a room where he was able to vent his anger – strike out and shout!

    There was an elderly lady (who lived alone) who liked to chant when upset. Speaking to God for reassurance.  Another mentioned she found comfort in talking to friends when angry or upset.

    I thought to myself for a minute, trying to recall when I was last upset and angry …

    Some time ago during a network meeting someone disagreed with a particular comment. They declared their objection and delivered their views. As much as I tried to placate her, she became more antagonistic even as I offered appeasement.

    I’m not usually someone who offers a knee-jerk reaction to criticism. Today was no different. I listened, heard her objections and offered others in the room their ‘chance’ to comment. 

    One or two were willing to share their opinion … although it was obvious most felt uncomfortable with what they could see as confrontation. The ambience had changed. We experienced both a mental and physical assault that affected the energy, we had flat-lined.

    We’re all very different in how we react to objections, aren’t we?  

    A little later in the day, my wife asked if I was OK.

    It was unlike me not to share what had happened earlier in the day. Today was different though. I had pushed the earlier meeting aside, buried it. I thought no more about it until Sue prompted conversation. This was when I had to admit I felt drained, very tired.

    Come on, let’s go for a walk Charlie, bring Dusty (our beloved mutt) and let’s talk …

    Confrontation of any kind causes us stress in different ways. I’ve found that by regular networking, having the opportunity to converse … discuss challenges, and feel how these affect us all while addressing where the pain may be. Networking can be a wonderful antidote to our ills. 

    For me, networking offers a far better option than locking myself in a room for a good shout at an inanimate object!

  • BY MARIA POPOVA

    Every night, for every human being that ever was and ever will be, the Moon rises to remind us how improbably lucky we are, each of its craters a monument of the odds we prevailed against to exist, a reliquary of the violent collisions that forged our rocky planet lush with life and tore from its body our only satellite with its miraculous proportions that render randomness too small a word — exactly 400 times smaller than the Sun and exactly 400 times closer to Earth, so that each time it passes between the two, the Moon covers the face of our star perfectly, thrusting us into midday night: the rare wonder of a total solar eclipse. 

    It is impossible to know this and not see the miraculous in its nightly light. 

    Total eclipse of the sun, observed July 29, 1878, at Creston, Wyoming Territory
    One of Étienne Léopold Trouvelot’s groundbreaking astronomical drawings. (Available as a print.)

    Moonlight transforms the landscapes of daytime, dusts them with the numinous. 

    “The sky was a strange royal-blue with all but the brightest stars quenched, while on either side the mountains were transformed into silver barricades, as their quartz surfaces reflected the moonlight,” Dervla Murphy wrote in Pakistan. 

    “We found many pleasures for the eye and the intellect… in the play of intense silvery moonlight over the mountainous seas of ice,” Frederick Cook wrote in Antarctica. 

    “All the bay is flooded with moonlight and in that pale glow the snowy mountains appear whiter than snow itself,” Rockwell Kent wrote in Alaska. 

    I remember being small and lonely, those infinite summers in the mountains of Bulgaria, waiting for nightfall, waiting for the Moon to cast its soft light upon the sharp edges of tomorrow and give the bygone day something of the eternal. 

    Moonlight, Winter by Rockwell Kent. (Available as a print and as stationery cards.)

    Moonlight transforms the landscapes of the soul: It transported Leonard Cohen to where the good songs come from; Sylvia Plath found in it a haunting lens on the darkness of the mind; for Toni Morrison, loving moonlight was a measure of freedom; for Virginia Woolf, it was a magnifying lens for love as she beckoned her lover Vita to “dine on the river together and walk in the garden in the moonlight.”

    I have encountered no more beautiful account of this dual transformation than a passage from Watership Down (public library) — the marvelous 1973 novel that began with a story Richard Adams dreamt up to entertain his two young daughters on a long car journey. Nested midway through his allegorical adventure tale of rabbits is Adams’s serenade to moonlight:

    The full moon, well risen in a cloudless eastern sky, covered the high solitude with its light. We are not conscious of daylight as that which displaces darkness. Daylight, even when the sun is clear of clouds, seems to us simply the natural condition of the earth and air… We take daylight for granted. But moonlight is another matter. It is inconstant. The full moon wanes and returns again. Clouds may obscure it to an extent to which they cannot obscure daylight.

    Winter Moon at Toyamagahara by Hasui Kawase, 1931. (Available as a print.)

    Adams exults in moonlight as one of those unbidden graces that give ordinary life a “singular and marvelous quality” — a grace that didn’t have to exist and is in this sense unnecessary, like many of the loveliest things in life, which C.S. Lewis captured in asserting that “friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself [and] has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

    A century after Walt Whitman exulted that the Moon “commends herself to the matter-of-fact people by her usefulness, and makes her uselessness adored by poets, artists, and all lovers in all lands,” Adams writes:

    Water is necessary to us, but a waterfall is not. Where it is to be found it is something extra, a beautiful ornament. We need daylight and to that extent it is utilitarian, but moonlight we do not need. When it comes, it serves no necessity. It transforms. It falls upon the banks and the grass, separating one long blade from another; turning a drift of brown, frosted leaves from a single heap to innumerable flashing fragments; or glimmering lengthways along wet twigs as though light itself were ductile. Its long beams pour, white and sharp, between the trunks of trees, their clarity fading as they recede into the powdery, misty distance of beech woods at night. In moonlight, two acres of coarse bent grass, undulant and ankle deep, tumbled and rough as a horse’s mane, appear like a bay of waves, all shadowy troughs and hollows. The growth is so thick and matted that even the wind does not move it, but it is the moonlight that seems to confer stillness upon it. We do not take moonlight for granted. It is like snow, or like the dew on a July morning. It does not reveal but changes what it covers.

    Siegfried and the Rhine Maidens by Albert Pinkham Ryder, 1888/1891. (Available as a print and as stationery cards.)

    These passages from Watership Down reminded me of a kindred reverie Aldous Huxley composed half a century before Adams in his music-inspired meditation on the universe and our place in it, contemplating the Moon as a mirror not of the Sun but of the soul. In a splendid counterpart to Paul Goodman’s spiritual taxonomy of silence, Huxley offers a spiritual taxonomy of moonlight: 

    The moon is a stone; but it is a highly numinous stone. Or, to be more precise, it is a stone about which and because of which men and women have numinous feelings. Thus, there is a soft moonlight that can give us the peace that passes understanding. There is a moonlight that inspires a kind of awe. There is a cold and austere moonlight that tells the soul of its loneliness and desperate isolation, its insignificance or its uncleanness. There is an amorous moonlight prompting to love — to love not only for an individual but sometimes even for the whole universe.

    Phases of the Moon by the self-taught 17th-century artist and astronomer Maria Clara Eimmart. (Available as a print.)

    Complement with the story of the first surviving photograph of the Moon, which changed our relationship to the universe, then savor this lovely picture-book about the Moon.

  • It’s not about the fry-up!

    I was speaking with Toni a few days ago, she’d called me to enquire about the format to the Tuesdaybiz networking.

    “Most welcome Toni. It’s an early start, 7.15 until 9am. It’s a structured meeting, allowing each attendee a few minutes to introduce themselves and the organisation. No member fees, the only cost is the room hire @ £10 p.p.”

    ‘I’m assuming breakfast is included Charlie?’

    Definitely, tea, coffee and a good selection from the menu. We ensure the breakfast is over before the presentations. I replied.

    Toni chuckled lightly. ‘As long as they do the English breakfast, I won’t be able to stay long. I’ll come along for the fry-up and introduce myself, although I need to be away by 8.30.’

    It’s likely not for you this time ’round Toni. I replied. The meeting format is in place to allow for introductions and in turn the reply. Everyone has the opportunity to provide input as we follow up on the conversation with the reply at around 8.30 … right about the time you wish to leave. Come along when you can offer your time, Toni.’

    ‘Don’t get me wrong, Charlie,’ Toni replied, almost hesitating. ‘I’d like to visit to see what transpires although Tuesday morning is a busy day for me …’

    Toni, I’m going to suggest ‘come along when you have the time’ it will give you a better impression. We do have guests simply coming over for the fast-fry breakfast, so it works for some, at Tuesdaybiz we just ask that you stay for the full meeting! 

    You may be a trader of goods, or be a busy hobbyist. There are Networking groups that cater for those who drop-in once in a while, looking for the quick fix, Toni.  

    Ours is a regular meeting. We get to know each other well, understanding the people who run the business as well as the business itself, ensuring we’re able to give and receive referrals in confidence.

    Bear in mind those who enjoy our meeting know that results come over time. I’d describe the process more akin to the ‘slow cooker’ other than the fry-up, Toni.’  

    ‘people buy from people, Toni.’