CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

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about

I love the coast and in particular, the area in which I live, the North East of England. It’s an uncomplicated life, for the past twelve years I’ve been away from the ‘big smoke’ … and the decision to relocate my business to the North has been the best move of my career. So far. I am a writer and have a lifetime of experience in publishing and personal development. I now consider myself a specialist in helping my clients with memoirs – this could be a biography, or simply bringing diary pages to life. I tend not to advertise my business, word of mouth has always been kind so it’s no surprise that I do spend a couple of days per week in collaboration through networking. Peer collaboration can be very rewarding. Therefore, if you’d like to join me fortnightly for Wednesday ZOOM or either Tuesday or Thursday for (in-person) morning coffee, please get in touch. I’d love to meet you and perhaps help in any way possible. Thank you for stopping by the website. engage, develop, grow … with Go! charliekenny@live.co.uk
  • Where are you heading?

    Where are you heading?

    Bob is one of many friends joining me for the regular Weeklybiz meeting.  He’s an unassuming type, usually arriving early to the meeting, each week taking up his usual seat at the table as we start the introductions.

    ‘Mr Reliable’ is the name we call him.

    Rarely do we see Bob picking up enquiries, and so I ask him … (because that’s what I do):

    ‘What’s in it for you? Where’s the value for you in the morning meeting Bob?

     ‘I enjoy the breakfast and interaction with others Charlie. The regular meetings are my time away from the routine – and I learn something new every time.’ 

    ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t enjoy it, Charlie.’

    Bob has an assured air about him. While never commenting on anything ‘out of turn,’ He often says he leaves that to the ‘less experienced’ during the meeting, adding:

    ‘God gave us two eyes, two ears and one mouth. We should use these in proportion.’ 

    Without having any commercial offering, Bob has nothing to ‘sell,’ his role amongst the regular fraternity being more … advisory. 

    Often he’d be the last to leave the room after formalities, even finding the time to engage one or two on the way toward the exit, always offering his support and experience.

    I see Bob as comfortable in his shoes.

    Isn’t that something to aspire to?

    ‘people buy from people’

  • Isn’t that amazing?

    Isn’t that amazing?

    I must admit to being a little absent-minded recently. One project was taking up most of my thoughts and activity. In doing so, much of my routine ‘day-to-day’ assignments remained on the ‘back burner.’

    Being ‘away’ from the routine has served a purpose though, it has shown me how much I get done each day!

    During my early days in business, I found the routines taxing. Especially when left untended for a few days. I soon learned the importance of routine …

    Today, many moons later. I’m still finding prioritising everyday events and tasks creates a kind of anxiety. This in itself clouds my ability to see any particular problem.

    So? Today I name any problem or task and write it down. I declare it. I know many of my friends and colleagues use this same, simple routine. 

    What about you? Are there times when you find yourself struggling? Anxious because that one task is all you can think about? 

    Try naming the problem, say it out loud and write it down, by doing so we remove it from the forefront of the mind. It’s like talking to a listening ear, the act of sharing … makes for a great start!

    By creating space we give ourselves room to solve any type of issue before it becomes a problem. 

    So what happens when we don’t have the luxury of a listening post? Or a friend who understands and is willing to listen?

    Many of you will know that I’m a great advocate of regular meet-ups. I find these invaluable to come together with like-minded people who love to help and share.

    During ‘networking’ we encourage people to declare a problem … large or small, something that may be causing anxiety, clouding their judgement.

    For me, working for myself is a privilege. I learned to appreciate the freedom over the years. I’m accountable only to myself and this outweighs any alternative arrangement. 

    But, being the only one in the company can at times be a lonesome existence.

    That’s where the regular business network helps. Anyone can take the first step and declare their needs, concerns and problems. With a supportive network, we’re able to seek reassurance and solutions from others. Most likely from people who have already experienced similar issues … and solved them! 

    There’s more. Through regular meetings, we develop close ties and friendships that last for years. Now isn’t that amazing? 

    ‘people buy from people’ 

  • Hi, I’m Connie.

    Hi, I’m Connie.

    Great to see you this morning Connie, let’s grab a beverage, tea or coffee?

    Coffee would be great, thanks. You know Charlie, I almost didn’t make it today. Just the thought of showing up to a room full of people I don’t know, the idea unsettles me.

    Congratulations are due. Well done, Connie, my advice to you now is to simply ‘go with the flow’ after all, it won’t be long before you know … (let’s have a quick count) … seven women and eight men.

    ‘Go with the flow?’ you say, Charlie.

    Let’s try and cure the anxiety, Connie.

    ‘Yes, it happens whenever I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. I have a terrible fear of being asked to describe myself and/or the business. I mean, I’m happy to have a conversation, it’s just …’

    It seems you’re happier when you initiate the conversation. Here Connie, try this trick, open the conversation via the FORM guide.

    ‘The what?’

    It goes something like this:

    Hi, I’m Connie.  

    Have you had to travel FAR to make the meeting this morning?

    Who are you with? What’s the name of the ORGANISATION?

    Is there any particular REASON you decided to come along today?

    and in the unlikely event you’ve not kicked off the conversation, Connie … ask

    What’s your MOTIVATION?

    ‘Thanks, Charlie, I’ll try that.’

    We all need a conversation starter, Connie, especially when the situation requires you to engage with new faces. Stick to the FORM guide, to begin with, it won’t be too long before everyone will know your name and help you along. By then I’m sure you won’t need any help with the conversation starter.  Besides, if all else fails, simply smile!

    ‘People buy from people.’

  • Reliable is referable

    Let’s keep it simple …

    Leverage the benefits of belonging to a network, by becoming that go-to person, because …

    ‘reliable = referable’

    #firstchoice #networking #reliable #you

  • costs nothing, takes you further …

    costs nothing, takes you further …

    Lucinda and I had about finished our catch-up when she turned to me and said:

    “Thanks for the meeting, Charlie, it was good to share some time. You know, when I first came to the business forum I didn’t think you liked me.”

    I laughed the statement off as we prepared to leave the coffee behind.

    ‘Of course I liked you, Lucinda. I like you even more now … because I’m getting to understand you.’ I’m the kind of person who prefers to give every new acquaintance the benefit of the doubt … I suppose that comes with the job, I’m not the first-time hugger type!? 

    When networking, it’s important we give each other time to grow into the environment.’

    ‘Do you believe that first impressions count, Charlie?’

    Yes, I do Lucinda. The smile is important, it costs nothing and takes you further, past first base.

    For instance, last Monday we had one of our regular forum meetings. Right before we started one of the attendees came to me and declared:

    “This is going to be my last meeting here, Charlie. I can’t see a market for me, here.’

    Now, considering our man had been with us for three prior meetings … hadn’t even booked a single follow-up with anyone in the room … I’d argue he hadn’t any idea of what was on offer by following up through conversation.

    I do agree with your thinking that first impressions count, Lucinda, although …

    Bearing in mind the main reason most people commit to a business network is to ‘work the network’ the adage … first impressions count could be misleading.

    You see, first-hand experience has taught me that each of us have far greater referral power than we know. 

    When I first started networking there were many occasions my one-to-one didn’t materialise. I missed out. Perhaps because I didn’t like my ‘dance partner’s’ product/services … style of dress or even lack of humour! I couldn’t see past the presentation, I didn’t appreciate who might know who …

    Referrals are never far away if we only give other people the chance to relate. Find out what makes us laugh and how to make our world richer and what or who you’d like to meet? It’s important.

    ‘Does this mean our meeting this morning was to find out how I could make you rich, Charlie?’ Lucinda asked, smiling back at me.

    OK, Lucinda, I like you a whole lot more now! You’ve already enriched my morning by allowing me to point out the value of the smile during the one to one. Let’s do this again next month? 

    People buy from people.

  • Ditch the habit.

    Ditch the habit.

    I was talking with Ben recently, he’s a Designer and struggling with a first-time meet with a prospect.

    “It’s a hundred-mile round trip, Charlie. I not sure whether it’s worth it, besides I’m not a fan of longer car journeys. 

    I find I become anxious, uncomfortable.”

    ‘You won’t know whether it’s ‘worth it’ until you meet with your contact, Ben. Besides, how else do you expect to win the business if you don’t present your best self? If you’re uncomfortable with the thought of mulling over the meeting, then you’re not ready. Not ready for new business, any new business, are you?’

    ”Yes, I’m ready, the prospect loves our concepts, it’s just …”

    ‘Ben, sometimes we should remind ourselves why we’re in business. The difference this latest enquiry means is that you have to travel a little further. It’s going to cost to make the appointment. Yes, you may have to operate outside of your comfort zone, right?’

    “I suppose I’m used to business coming to me, Charlie.”

    ‘But that’s it, Ben, change comes to us all. It’s time to step up and go a little further. Think of this one appointment as a blessing, an opportunity.’

    “More like anxiety, Charlie.”

    ‘Pick yourself up and accept the challenge. The prospect already likes what they’ve heard from you and I’m sure they’re grateful you are on your way, and the car journey? Have you ever tried winding down the back window a little bit? Open the opposite front as well. You’re creating a different ambience in the car, the noise of the road, the air quality in the cabin. Create change.’

    Try an ‘audiobook’ also, or a different CD. The anxiety will pass. You already know the prospect likes your offer. Try and take your mind off the traffic grind, and what may not happen and aim to arrive five minutes early. Fresh and ready for the job. Offer your best self, open the conversation with the story on your car audio?’

    “I hear what you’re saying Charlie, I just have this fear of failing …”

    ‘Maybe it’s your fear of trying and the possibility of new objections Ben. You’re already in a positive position. Besides, everyone who has ever made it has failed, plenty of times. We fall and we get back up. You know this don’t you? 

    You know how it works Ben, we do this thing we do because what we offer is a solution. You don’t need a therapist to tell you that. These little ‘if’s and but’s’ and other ‘reasons to fail’ aren’t useful.

    It’s easy to accept our routines, comfort zones and habits are easy. The excuses you confront yourself with will never be as impactful or exciting as the story of how YOU made it happen.

    You’re ready Ben, go for it – and let’s talk about your choice of audiobook when you return.

    ‘people buy from people’

    #winning #adversity #negativewin #notherapy

  • See different

    See different

    I picked up the pen to jot down a note to myself, instead of the original prompt I wrote:

    ‘No, I’m not doing this …’ 

    It was a message from my subliminal self saying it was time for something different.

    The idea of doing the same thing for the same result, helping others, wasn’t appealing, there was the paradox. After all, helping others is how I established my business all those years ago. I’d now been challenged by change … I should begin doing things for myself, I thought.

    Was I learning?

    After all? I’d been following the same routine these past ten years and I’d convinced myself it was the correct way to go. I’d even made a point of guiding all who listened to heed the value of change …  by listening ‘not a jot’ to my inner voice, I continued to adhere to the same old routine …

    Now, was it time for a wake-up call? 

    If my path was to be the same and I expected a different result then my actions needed to change.

    I couldn’t help but feel a sense of liberation as I found the telephone …

    ‘Hi Bill, Charlie here … what’s for breakfast next Tuesday?’

    After our conversation, I realised that the path to contentment was understanding. I’d learned that change was something to embrace as a catalyst for new things. An unexpected smile, the opportunity for conversation, shared thoughts.

    OK, the subject of the ‘phone call was hardly a game-changer. My moment of change was a question to confirm a colleague’s breakfast preference. We were meeting the following week and I would usually have sent a mail or text. Instead, I chose change and something that was making a small difference, as it turns out … for both of us.

    ‘Thanks for the call, I’d completely forgotten Charlie, appreciated. Let’s catch up for a one to one next week.’

    Did my simple act make a significant impact? No, I thought not. For me, it was something I needed to do. To qualify my understanding of the inspiration that simple change invokes was enough.

    Bill and I met up for a chat right after breakfast the following week. It seems my innocuous call hit a chord. Unknown to me, at the time we spoke on the telephone he was contending with a personal loss. 

    Significant impact? 

    I was unaware of my friend’s challenges, but in his own words, ‘that simple act of kindness, a call from a friend … it’s priceless and was very much appreciated.’

    Embrace the opportunity of change, ‘business is personal.’

  • Dip your toe …

    Dip your toe …

    I clutched my bag of groceries as I clambered out of the car, just in time to meet the postie fast approaching, her own hands full of paperwork.
    I could tell she looked a little ‘troubled.”

    Before I could greet her I was handed the mail and asked … ‘Do you know the people around the corner, ‘West side?’ I’ve been over and the alarm is sounding, front door open, but no one answered. I’m sure I could smell smoke as well?’

    With that, our postie was away … adding … ‘I haven’t seen anyone else, you might want to check everything is ok?’

    ‘Do I need this?’ I thought to myself as I left my handful of items in the car and proceeded to see what the commotion was all about.

    Approaching the cottage I could see the front door indeed ajar. House keys were hanging from the front door lock and I couldn’t help but notice smoke! Then there was the incessant wail of the interior smoke alarm.

    Stepping through the door I hollered: ‘Margaret!, Pat!  Are you ok? It’s Charlie …’

    Above the pitch of the alarm I heard a woman’s voice … ‘Alarm above the door, food burning, I’m in the bathroom!’

    ‘OK, let’s do this,’ I uttered. Silencing the chimes, now to the kitchen … oven off … extractor on, next, where’s the bathroom??

    ‘Margaret, are you ok? I called, hesitating.

    ‘Sorry Charlie, l can’t move and need help …’

    Upon entering the bathroom my eyes first caught sight of a naked woman – sitting in a stand-alone bathtub (one of those with a high back) … with nothing more than a face towel in place to spare her modesty,

    ‘Charlie, I’ve stuck my toe in the cold water tap and can’t get it out!’

    It seems husband Pat was out with golfing buddies and Margaret was taking her book to the bath for a quick read before dinner …

    My face must have told a story … I stood struck dumb before blurting out …

    ‘So, where’s the vaseline!?’

    ‘Margaret simply howled with laughter … ‘throw me that towel, the grease is in the cupboard above the sink.’

    It was a few minutes of wriggling, pushing and pulling. Margaret explained … Enjoying her read, she was disturbed by the dripping tap and so decided to insert her second toe in an attempt to stop the drip and … toe became stuck, fast! Now, locked in the upright seated position of the old-style tub she couldn’t lever her leg (or bend) to help herself. Knees high and toe stuck fast … if only there was a photograph!

    Eventually, with help from ‘vaso’ we freed the embedded second toe, sparing further blushes from my ‘bathtub patient’ as I swiftly made my way, avoiding further explanation toward the grocery left in my car … 

    Margaret and I now have a secret … I’ve promised not to mention the situation to anyone, the ‘toe moment’ is going to be shared only between ourselves … because no one would believe it!

    Trust is a wonderful thing, dip your toe, earn some trust and discover where it may lead you.

  • Speak the lingo?

    Speak the lingo?

    I hadn’t seen Hans for 15 years until our Boxing Day rendezvous on his way to visit his sister in Holland. 

    Since that first meeting, Hans had finally wed his long-term girlfriend, Susan – along with the full blessing of her father!

    ‘So how did you manage to finally get Susan to the alter, Hans?’

    ‘Did I tell you the story of why it never happened sooner, Charlie?

    Hans continued …

    “Susan and I met in Chicago back in ’96 – and we wanted to ‘get hitched’ then, although her father wouldn’t allow it. It seems I (being a pastrycook) wasn’t ideal son-in-law material for the head of one of the city’s leading law firms. He was hoping his daughter, a lawyer herself, might marry ‘into the firm,’ so to speak …

    We had a cool period for a couple of years until he began talking to me once again. It didn’t ‘worry me’ – it never bothered Susan at all either, we thought the silly ole guy would see sense. Then he asked me …’

    “Hans, why don’t you let me introduce you to someone from my fraternity? Are you free for lunch next Wednesday, able to take a little time away from the bakery?” 

    How could I refuse?

    The Wednesday lunch date arrived as I was introduced to a fellow whose firm manufactured stainless steel cookware. His business was well-established with some well-healed clients. He thought the time was right to expand on the back of a strong reputation. ‘Why don’t you come and work for me, Hans? By the way, how many languages did you say you speak?’

    Hans is fluent in four languages, having grown up in Holland and travelling through different parts of the world. He and I first met in Sydney, Australia.

    I remember I was somewhat taken aback, Charlie. The guy was serious and he had big plans for the future. More importantly, the plan also had the endorsement from Susan’s father.

    So you took a job? What kind of job are we talking about?

    Charlie, the firm needed someone who knew about cookware. Someone who could introduce it to new (international) markets. I took the job, Charlie, international sales, the terms were too good to refuse. 

    I thought you’d gone quiet on us Hans, now I know why …

    Do you want to know the best of it, Charlie?  My first customer is MacDonald’s. Not bad eh? First providing restaurants throughout Europe, then soon after Europe and the USA the company was asked to provide stainless cookware to MacDonalds … globally!

    Susan? I asked.

    She’s very happy! We married several years ago – with the blessing of her family – and of course proud daddy!

    It’s that old catchphrase you keep bandying around Charlie, the one about networking and taking the opportunity. ‘People buy from people?’

    Exactly Hans, or in your case, more like the language we speak. Congratulations!

  • If you must be alone …

    RACHEL CARSON: EMBRACE THE LONELINESS OF CREATIVE WORK

    “Works of art are of an infinite loneliness,” Rilke wrote in reflecting on the lonely patience of creative work — patience needed not only in art but in every realm of creativity, including science, and perhaps nowhere more so than at the uncommon intersection of the two.

    In her unexampled union of art and science, the marine biologist and poetic nature-writer Rachel Carson (May 27, 1907–April 14, 1964) neither romanticized nor rued the essential loneliness of creative absorption. Instead, she addressed it with the plain poetics of her lived experience. 

    Even after her lyrical writing about the science of the sea won her the nation’s highest honor of literary art and her 1962 book Silent Spring catalyzed the environmental movement, making her the era’s most revered science writer, Carson continued making time to respond to letters from readers. In this superhuman feat — one downright impossible in our age of email, when millions of readers can reach a single writer’s inbox with the unmediated tap of a virtual button — Carson hauled trunkfuls of letters home, prioritizing those from students and young women asking her advice on writing. Responding to one of them, she offered:

    Writing is a lonely occupation at best. Of course there are stimulating and even happy associations with friends and colleagues, but during the actual work of creation the writer cuts himself off from all others and confronts his subject alone. He* moves into a realm where he has never been before — perhaps where no one has ever been. It is a lonely place, even a little frightening.

    In another letter, writing to a young woman in whom Carson saw her younger self, she deepens and broadens the sentiment:

    You are wise enough to understand that being “a little lonely” is not a bad thing. A writer’s occupation is one of the loneliest in the world, even if the loneliness is only an inner solitude and isolation, for that he must have at times if he is to be truly creative. And so I believe only the person who knows and is not afraid of loneliness should aspire to be a writer. But there are also rewards that are rich and peculiarly satisfying.

    With thanks to Maria Popova (The Marginalian)
    https://www.themarginalian.org/?mc_cid=630fec02d1&mc_eid=73733b688f