I love the coast and in particular, the area in which I live, the North East of England. It’s an uncomplicated life, for the past twelve years I’ve been away from the ‘big smoke’ … and the decision to relocate my business to the North has been the best move of my career. So far.
I am a writer and have a lifetime of experience in publishing and personal development. I now consider myself a specialist in helping my clients with memoirs – this could be a biography, or simply bringing diary pages to life. I tend not to advertise my business, word of mouth has always been kind so it’s no surprise that I do spend a couple of days per week in collaboration through networking. Peer collaboration can be very rewarding.
Therefore, if you’d like to join me fortnightly for Wednesday ZOOM or either Tuesday or Thursday for (in-person) morning coffee, please get in touch. I’d love to meet you and perhaps help in any way possible.
Thank you for stopping by the website.
engage, develop, grow … with Go!
charliekenny@live.co.uk
I’m not going to tell you how to run your business. I’m going to try and help you realise your goals and make business more enjoyable.
Here are four questions to ask yourself that may help you:
Do I have direction?
Who (or what) is your audience …
Is the business visible (bizable?)
Am I fit for business?
There are plenty of questions to ask ourselves when qualifying why we’re in business.
I like to keep the above points top of mind. These offer the most impactful insight to the business journey. There’s less ‘fluff.’
Let’s look at those:
Write each question down as we go …
Do I have direction? Where is your business is heading – the goal, do you know where nirvana is for your enterprise? If not, spend a little time (a couple of minutes) each day and visualise the end game.
Who (or what) is your audience? The strategy. Your customers have a huge impact on the end game. I know it’s difficult not to accept every offer of new business along the way. I’ve been there. Let’s keep in mind that if we spend too much time heading in the wrong direction … we may take a little longer to get back on track. Find direction and reach that goal. Think specific audience, think strategy.
Am I fit for business? Today we have plenty of opportunity to show our logo … splash our message and shout the plaudits from our satisfied customers. Digital is excellent for that hit of dopamine, the instant gratification. Let’s remember that much of our marketing can be time wasted. Until we realise that business is personal. Most of today’s purchasing is through reputable brands, reputable people. Make the personal appearances often. Network, in person. Show potential customers that you are available for new business. Build your brand, become bizable.
By sticking with the above points, I’ve found my personal journey has not only fulfilled my wishes … it has been more enjoyable.
Consider the above vision and develop your reputation along the way.
A friend had been having trouble negotiating a demanding work-life balance.
A passion for the side-hustle seemed to be getting in the way of prioritisation. Cathy was so busy with the day job when she realised she was unhappy. What she wanted most was a business that reflected her passion.
… You’re in the wrong job. I suggested. Shouldn’t you be prioritising your passion, I asked?
Duuh … OK smart pants, how do I do that? The day job pays the bills Charlie. How do I walk away and start afresh when I’m reliant on the business that no longer excites me?
First thing is a conversation. Find someone you trust who stands away from you business. Ask them to observe your business processes, you may find you can create more time.
Time. Unless you’d prefer to cut ties with the business you’ve worked so hard to establish? Wouldn’t that be a shame?
We all need to make space during the busy lifestyle, by managing our time a little better we create space – and with the extra space, what would you do? What could you achieve?
I need days more that minutes, Charlie.
So, think of how much time you may find each day, over six days per week to be able to address your passion. It’s a lifestyle you’ve chosen, now adapt …
I didn’t know it would grow so fast, Charlie.
So people like you and your product. That’s great, isn’t it? How would an extra day per week help you pursue that passion? It is possible, by stepping back. Understand that we all need to trust others once in a while to help us work smarter. Be better.
OK, an extra day would be useful …
With that extra time, the bonus is that you would be able to visualise. See now that you’re on the road to creating a business that works without you.
You mean it’s the start?
It’s where we should start, with the end in mind, yet it can be difficult to start up with this ability … the ‘bizability.’ By sharing with others and trusting in their skills we gift ourselves time. Have you thought about an extra pair of hands-on for one/two days per week?
I’m not ready Charlie.
Try creating that time … you’ll soon be ready …
Through rapport, we’re blessed with time and space. We create a transportable (marketable, saleable) business, allowing us to plan for the future. With the passion in mind.
As business owners we understand that tough times can beset the best intentions. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We’re trying to stick to the plan, the strategy is in place and suddenly … it all goes pear-shaped. Why? It may be because of market conditions, budget cuts, a rise in operating costs, mortgage rates, or a host of accompanying ‘downers’ when we find we’re simply stuck and ‘sinking’ fast.
The results can be disheartening. We find ourselves on the negative side of the fence and it’s tricky picking up the pieces through all the ‘stuff’ and it becomes almost impossible to even consider jumping the fence to reshape the plan. Stuck fast. The distractions are not only disheartening but debilitating. It’s a scene where, if action isn’t quickly taken, can be played out daily.
The worst of it? The more bad news hangs around, more of the same turns up!
Ultimately we find ourselves inhabiting the negative mindset. It’s tough enough dealing with your own knocks and setbacks but contending with the ‘sympathisers’ only interested in hearing bad news doesn’t help. Remember, bad news attracts more post views, sees most clicks, right? Why? Because it’s more compelling.
Doom attracts the doom-mongers!
So how do we combat the constant flow of knocks and downbeat attitudes that seem to feed the negative mind set, the pessimism?
To remedy any of the above symptoms of negative is surprisingly simple. Negative cannot live with positive. There is always an opposite to every reaction and in my experience a solution is always found by reaching out through candid discussion.
Be bold, step out and find the ‘right kind’ of people, those you trust and who thrive on success, sharing positive news. Being transparent with colleagues who visualise the path forward will help talk up the steps to success.
I’m lucky, the business I’m in attracts the optimism required to be successful during challenging times.
My advice if you’re stuck with how to move forward? Find yourself a network of like-minded associates and share whatever the seasonal disappointments have brought you. Ask for help. Chances are there is already a solution to your current situation just waiting for the conversation. Take time to talk up your past wins and of course recall the shortcomings. Learn how to thrive again.
Discuss, learn and discard to realign as your business, your life benefit through association with the positive.
Positive attracts optimism. Leave the alternative to the sceptics.
“There is no place more intimate than the spirit alone,” the young May Sarton (May 3, 1912–July 16, 1995) wrote in her stunning ode to solitude — the solitude she came to know, over the course of her long and prolific life, as the seedbed of creativity.
Living alone can be deeply rewarding and deeply challenging. It is not for everyone. It is not for those who romanticize its offerings of freedom and focus, but excise its menacing visitations of loneliness and alienation. It is not for those who find silence shattering. It is especially not for those who hunger for another consciousness to validate their experience and redeem their reality. It is only for the whole.
In her elder years, living alone on the coast of Maine and savoring a renaissance of creative energy after a long depression, Sarton returns to the subject of what solitude is and is not on the pages of her boundlessly rewarding journal The House by the Sea (public library)
.
May Sarton
Looking back on her life, she writes:
Solitude, like a long love, deepens with time.
But what solitude brings to a person is shaped by what the person brings to solitude. One August day, life brings Sarton a prompt to consider the art of living alone and the necessary preconditions for making of solitude not a resignation but a rapture:
Yesterday I had a letter from a young woman who is living alone, a film maker of some reputation. She wants to do a film on people who live alone, and will come next week to talk about her plans. I gather she has some doubts about the solitary life. I told her that I feel it is not for the young (she is only thirty-three). I did not begin to live alone till I was forty-five, and had “lived” in the sense of passionate friendships and love affairs very richly for twenty-five years. I had a huge amount of life to think about and to digest, and, above all, I was a person by then and knew what I wanted of my life. The people we love are built into us. Every day I am suddenly aware of something someone taught me long ago — or just yesterday — of some certainty and self-awareness that grew out of conflict with someone I loved enough to try to encompass, however painful that effort may have been.
I’ve been asked many times whether it was possible to ‘accelerate the magic’ that determines success when networking.
Success, in this case, meaning more business.
‘Accelerating the magic?’ It’s not an easy question to answer given ‘people buy from people,’ You see, we’re all very different individuals with various reasons for stepping out of the comfort zone for networking. Expectation varies greatly.
I’ve seen colleagues leave the meeting surprised that they haven’t generated any enquiries … thinking no-one was interested. Let’s face it, not everyone is in the market for your product or services all of the time.
My answer to the above mentioned query … ‘accelerating the magic’ is, on most occasions, the same.
To be more approachable to others, make yourself available. Work on the ‘familiar’ to become referrable.
Any networking event usually takes the form of a structured, scheduled agenda running for a specific time. So, my point being, rarely is any important buying decision made on a chance meeting … at a business breakfast or dinner!
What’s to keep you from arriving half an hour early and staying an extra half an hour after the event?
Time! I hear you say.
Give more time. Freely. After all, business is personal for many. Schedule an appointment before the meeting – or after proceedings. Set up the date! Some I know attending events even ask for the attendee list from the organiser.
Spend more of your valuable time by being available for conversation before and after the meeting. By slowing the process down, you have a much better chance of accelerating the realisation of positive results from your networking.
PS. If you would like to ‘accelerate the magic’ via ZOOM (it’s free) please reply to this note and request a link. I’d be happy, if I can, to help through conversation.
Once more I was asked why I manage to operate a not-for-profit social enterprise and not get paid for it. What did I … get out of it?
My answer is the same every time. I’m networking for the same reason as anyone else – to consolidate my business interests through reputation management.
I usually go on to explain … because, I can’t help myself …
During the early part of my career, I was always on the lookout for new business. My networking complimented my canvassing, marketing, and appointment-making. I would go to great lengths to make sure my company was visible. Yes, I even advertised! I was a hungry guy twenty years ago, I loved my business (still do) and I was in a hurry for my new business to sustain my lifestyle.
The great dilemma. Does my business serve a particular marketplace? Is it ready for me? Am I worthy?
I ask myself this same question most days.
As I became more established, once the business was known, ‘bizable’ I began to care about how others were contending with their passion to do well, to make ends meet. I could relate to the tough stuff.
We can be our own worst-best friends. The old catchphrase “Trust in yourself and your abilities, your choices, products, and services,” comes to mind. We are tested when in reality, during tough times, (yes, it can be tough) … we should remember to take a breath, step back and realise that as we flex our business muscle, we’re growing, galvanising our emotional capital each time we’re challenged or begin to question ourselves.
So by ‘hanging in there’ and continuing to extol the virtues of our offer, over time others in our network are witnessing our progress. The empathy develops and with familiarity and longevity, our reputation is enhanced.
My social enterprise, the not-for-profit network I provide on my side of town has introduced me to hundreds of people over the years. Many of these being start-ups (or solopreneurs), much the same as I was at some point. I’ve been lucky enough to witness many transformations from star-up to entrepreneur and with that I am introduced to new connections, new passion, each with their own story and plans for success.
I’m lucky.
By showing consistency and resilience, being ready to share my experiences and seek out advice, by helping others I now find I no longer need to be in such a hurry to find new business. New business comes to me, through referral.
“In a world full of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power, what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure (that is, perpetually curious).”
Nothing, not one thing, hurts us more — or causes us to hurt others more — than our certainties. The stories we tell ourselves about the world and the foregone conclusions with which we cork the fount of possibility are the supreme downfall of our consciousness. They are also the inevitable cost of survival, of navigating a vast and complex reality most of which remains forever beyond our control and comprehension. And yet in our effort to parse the world, we sever ourselves from the full range of its beauty, tensing against the tenderness of life.
In consonance with neurologist Oliver Sacks’s insight into narrative as the pillar of personal identity, Saunders examines the elemental impulse for storytelling as the basic organizing principle by which we govern our lives:
The instant we wake the story begins: “Here I am. In my bed. Hard worker, good dad, decent husband, a guy who always tries his best. Jeez, my back hurts. Probably from the stupid gym.”
And just like that, with our thoughts, the world gets made.
Or, anyway, a world gets made.
This world-making via thinking is natural, sane, Darwinian: we do it to survive. Is there harm in it? Well, yes, because we think in the same way that we hear or see: within a narrow, survival-enhancing range. We don’t see or hear all that might be seen or heard but only that which is helpful for us to see and hear. Our thoughts are similarly restricted and have a similarly narrow purpose: to help the thinker thrive.
All of this limited thinking has an unfortunate by-product: ego. Who is trying to survive? “I” am. The mind takes a vast unitary wholeness (the universe), selects one tiny segment of it (me), and starts narrating from that point of view. Just like that, that entity (George!) becomes real, and he is (surprise, surprise) located at the exact center of the universe, and everything is happening in his movie, so to speak; it is all, somehow, both for and about him. In this way, moral judgment arises: what is good for George is… good. What is bad for him is bad. (The bear is neither good nor bad until, looking hungry, it starts walking toward George.)
So, in every instant, a delusional gulf gets created between things as we think they are and things as they actually are. Off we go, mistaking the world we’ve made with our thoughts for the real world. Evil and dysfunction (or at least obnoxiousness) occur in proportion to how solidly a person believes that his projections are correct and energetically acts upon them.
Over time, our stories harden into certainties that collide with each other every time we engage with another person, who is another story — another embodiment of the unreliable first-person narration known as skaz that permeates classic Russian literature. With an eye to the inescapable fact that “there is no world save the one we make with our minds, and the mind’s predisposition determines the type of world we see,” Saunders contours the commonplace tragicomedy of colliding in the mind-made world of skaz:
I think, therefore I am wrong, after which I speak, and my wrongness falls on someone also thinking wrongly, and then there are two of us thinking wrongly, and, being human, we can’t bear to think without taking action, which, having been taken, makes things worse.
[…]
The entire drama of life on earth is: Skaz-Headed Person #1 steps outside, where he encounters Skaz-Headed Person #2. Both, seeing themselves as the center of the universe, thinking highly of themselves, immediately slightly misunderstand everything.
Trying to communicate across this fissure of understanding yields results sometimes comical and sometimes tragic, always affirming that reality is not singular but plural, not a point of view but a plane of possible vantages. With an eye to Chekhov — who was a physician by training and an excellent one, but an even better writer because a diagnosis is a forced conclusion of curiosity but art is the eternal sandbox of doubt — Saunders writes:
In a world full of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power, what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure (that is, perpetually curious).
After a close reading of Chekhov’s short story “Gooseberries,” he reflects:
It’s hard to be alive. The anxiety of living makes us want to judge, be sure, have a stance, definitively decide. Having a fixed, rigid system of belief can be a great relief.
[…]
As long as we don’t decide, we allow further information to keep coming in. Reading a story like “Gooseberries” might be seen as a way of practicing this. It reminds us that any question in the form “Is X right or wrong?” could benefit from another round of clarifying questions. Question: “Is X good or bad?” Story: “For whom? On what day, under what conditions? Might there be some unintended consequences associated with X? Some good hidden in the bad that is X? Some bad hidden in the good that is X? Tell me more.”
This openness to more — to truth beyond story, to beauty beyond certainty — is precisely what teaches us how to love the world more. With a deep bow to Chekhov as the master of this existential art, Saunders writes:
This feeling of fondness for the world takes the form, in his stories, of a constant state of reexamination. (“Am I sure? Is it really so? Is my preexisting opinion causing me to omit anything?”) He has a gift for reconsideration. Reconsideration is hard; it takes courage. We have to deny ourselves the comfort of always being the same person, one who arrived at an answer some time ago and has never had any reason to doubt it. In other words, we have to stay open (easy to say, in that confident, New Age way, but so hard to actually do, in the face of actual, grinding, terrifying life). As we watch Chekhov continually, ritually doubt all conclusions, we’re comforted. It’s all right to reconsider. It’s noble — holy, even. It can be done. We can do it. We know this because of the example he leaves in his stories, which are, we might say, splendid, brief reconsideration machines.
For the start-up looking to establish itself in a rural community such as ours, business can be tough.
The ‘busy season’ for most market towns with a short summer is the tourist footfall. Many traders have grown by relying on this, there’s only a short time of bounty for the seasonal business to become established.
I used to ask myself … ‘What happens for the rest of the year?’
Some start-ups follow the popular trends by spending their time cultivating new opportunities through social media. Hoping for a ‘win’ by eaching out during ‘conversation,’ or by joining popular posts. Many simply display images for the ‘offer of the day,’ a discount here or there during juxtaposition with the ‘traffic.’
Social media? It’s a lottery for professional business looking to meet their next best customer. Me? I prefer personal engagement. I’m busy all year ’round.
Sure, we’re all different. I do understand that some are more comfortable with the online business experience. I also understand that those with important plans for the future need the qualification that face to face brings.
New connections have always been key to my business. This is why networking remains the essential routine for me. It’s my … ‘Support Network.’
We’re lucky with a coming together of independent business people meeting regularly over breakfast, the conversation often carries a common topic … how can I help you? The new connections offer so much more than business. Because business is yet another by-product of networking.
The regular meetings bring conversation alongside a whole new confidence in ‘what’s possible.’ The trusted network – or local community helps realise opportunity through broader vision. The familiar face is a ‘sounding board’ for choices, the investment of your time – and referral.
We welcome all kinds of attendees. From established SME to the seasonal business looking to become that all year-round supportive enterprise. Most importantly we seek ‘people persons.’ The opportunity for the win-win is very real when we converse and it helps(?) we have a 7.30 – 9 am meeting – business before the ‘phones start.
As a social enterprise there are no fees, apart from your choice of breakfast. No subscription or mandatory individual requirements to think of either. It’s a less complicated way of developing the greater marketplace, a kinder landscape.
The Weeklybiz structured meetings encourage great prospects over a decent breakfast. For all types of kind people, in business all year round.
Charlie, I’m suffering a famous ‘lack of confidence’ vote in myself … I don’t seem to be picking up any business through networking. I’m lucky with the introduction here and there, but … what am I doing wrong?
Ian, there’s nothing wrong. You are practicing the art of networking. You, like all who practice ‘the magic,’ are sharpening your pencil for when the opportunity arises.
Practice the magic?
The feeling of unlucky and unloved? It’s more common than you think. Understand that we enjoy a network community with much to offer. Each attendee is a specialist in their art.
Now Ian, until you give time to introduce yourself to each (everyone) in your network … through the one to one, you truly understand why it’s called ‘networking.’ It is here, when colleagues see you’ve committed to the long-haul … it is now, you will begin to benefit through networking.
How long is the long haul, Charlie?
It’s tough early-on, even more so when we see the immediate results others seem to enjoy. It may be a paradox? We ask ourselves, ‘why don’t I have this instant success?’
More likely the results you witness early are a misunderstanding. Think, economy to scale. We sometimes feel under-appreciated – but guess what? It’s all part of the experience. Don’t confuse networking with the quick-fix. Depending on the skills we have, we’re all blessed with the odd referral here and there.
Good, meaningful business Ian? It may not be the single photograph of the family I discussed with our photographer recently. The real referral is the opportunity to record an event or special occasion. That single photograph being a great initial introduction of skills leading to referral.
We all know that it takes time for recommended business to come our way. So, the most effective way of building your reputation …’your lucky?’
Be where your customers are. Have patience and practice your story. Inform your audience of your strengths. Who do you work with? Where do you work from, how far do you travel? Tell your story Ian, in technicolour!
Your ‘lucky,’ arrives when you find yourself comfortable ‘in the room,’ happy being where your listeners are. Lucky is when your reputation has somehow preceded you. Realising that word-of-mouth has worked her magic.
Your ‘lucky’ is a result of your presentations Ian. At some point you realise your team have heard your story away from the regular meeting. Your details passed on to the third party.
‘So how long does it take, Charlie?’
OK Ian, reflect on what we’ve talked about. Once that meaningful practice of patience brings the magic, then lucky, let me know. You will have your answer and I can learn some more.
It was a Sunday evening when I made my way, beverage in tow, to my favourite chair. The occasion was to witness the televised UK Darts final. Like other ill-informed fans, I was anticipating a walk-over. The world’s current best player, Michael Van Gerwen expected to be too good for Andrew Gilding.
Again, I hear you say: “what does he know!”
What transpired of course was a reverse result as Andrew Gilding (world ranked 42,) won 11 games to 10. It was a real surprise. After all, Andrew Gilding himself had hardly figured ‘on the circuit’ in recent years.
Prior his tournament win … the 52 year-old Englishman remarked he had ‘all but given up hope of being successful.’ He thought his opportunity to be a winner had passed.
When asked what he credited to the dramatic change in fortune he said simply … ‘I’ve been lazy.’
‘For years I’d set practice aside, until I was lucky when an offer came of a start in the UK Darts Open. It was then I ‘knuckled down’ and began to work on my game. Even so, it was beyond my wildest dreams that I’d end up winning the title!’
Andrew Gilding’s story is one that transcends the game of Darts. With every new attendee to The Weeklybiz network there’s an assumption of success. It’s natural of course, bringing your skills to a room of like-minded business colleagues and declaring the virtues of working alongside each other, we expect results to come our way … after all, we’ve turned up! Not everyone is successful.
Not every new business has the vision for the long-haul. I’ve met many who visit the Weeklybiz to see what they can achieve in the shortest time possible. When I explain that ‘not everyone is – in the market for their kind of business – all of the time’ and that the best kind of referral comes through great understanding and trust … some don’t ‘get it.’ We don’t see them again.
Results take time. As in any business, we revise our presentation skills, our offer, to meet the needs of the market.
On his ‘big day’ Andrew Gilding had faith in his skills, he worked on his game, practiced regularly and won the prize … and now … Andrew believes that he ‘can win everything.’
Networking is about spending the time building your reputation.
Solitude, like a long love, deepens with time.
