CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

  • Loving the world more.

    Here’s a great observation from our friends at:

    The Marginalian by Maria Popova

    “In a world full of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power, what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure (that is, perpetually curious).”

    How to Love the World More: George Saunders on the Courage of Uncertainty

    Nothing, not one thing, hurts us more — or causes us to hurt others more — than our certainties. The stories we tell ourselves about the world and the foregone conclusions with which we cork the fount of possibility are the supreme downfall of our consciousness. They are also the inevitable cost of survival, of navigating a vast and complex reality most of which remains forever beyond our control and comprehension. And yet in our effort to parse the world, we sever ourselves from the full range of its beauty, tensing against the tenderness of life.

    How to love the world more by negotiating our hunger for certainty and our gift for story is what George Saunders explores in some lovely passages from A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life (public library) — the boundlessly wonderful and layered book in which he reckoned with the key to great storytelling and the way to unbreak our hearts.

    Art by Jean-Pierre Weill from The Well of Being

    In consonance with neurologist Oliver Sacks’s insight into narrative as the pillar of personal identity, Saunders examines the elemental impulse for storytelling as the basic organizing principle by which we govern our lives:

    The instant we wake the story begins: “Here I am. In my bed. Hard worker, good dad, decent husband, a guy who always tries his best. Jeez, my back hurts. Probably from the stupid gym.”

    And just like that, with our thoughts, the world gets made.

    Or, anyway, a world gets made.

    This world-making via thinking is natural, sane, Darwinian: we do it to survive. Is there harm in it? Well, yes, because we think in the same way that we hear or see: within a narrow, survival-enhancing range. We don’t see or hear all that might be seen or heard but only that which is helpful for us to see and hear. Our thoughts are similarly restricted and have a similarly narrow purpose: to help the thinker thrive.

    All of this limited thinking has an unfortunate by-product: ego. Who is trying to survive? “I” am. The mind takes a vast unitary wholeness (the universe), selects one tiny segment of it (me), and starts narrating from that point of view. Just like that, that entity (George!) becomes real, and he is (surprise, surprise) located at the exact center of the universe, and everything is happening in his movie, so to speak; it is all, somehow, both for and about him. In this way, moral judgment arises: what is good for George is… good. What is bad for him is bad. (The bear is neither good nor bad until, looking hungry, it starts walking toward George.)

    So, in every instant, a delusional gulf gets created between things as we think they are and things as they actually are. Off we go, mistaking the world we’ve made with our thoughts for the real world. Evil and dysfunction (or at least obnoxiousness) occur in proportion to how solidly a person believes that his projections are correct and energetically acts upon them.

    Art by Kay Nielsen from East of the Sun and West of the Moon. (Available as a print and as stationery cards.)

    Over time, our stories harden into certainties that collide with each other every time we engage with another person, who is another story — another embodiment of the unreliable first-person narration known as skaz that permeates classic Russian literature. With an eye to the inescapable fact that “there is no world save the one we make with our minds, and the mind’s predisposition determines the type of world we see,” Saunders contours the commonplace tragicomedy of colliding in the mind-made world of skaz:

    I think, therefore I am wrong, after which I speak, and my wrongness falls on someone also thinking wrongly, and then there are two of us thinking wrongly, and, being human, we can’t bear to think without taking action, which, having been taken, makes things worse.

    […]

    The entire drama of life on earth is: Skaz-Headed Person #1 steps outside, where he encounters Skaz-Headed Person #2. Both, seeing themselves as the center of the universe, thinking highly of themselves, immediately slightly misunderstand everything.

    Trying to communicate across this fissure of understanding yields results sometimes comical and sometimes tragic, always affirming that reality is not singular but plural, not a point of view but a plane of possible vantages. With an eye to Chekhov — who was a physician by training and an excellent one, but an even better writer because a diagnosis is a forced conclusion of curiosity but art is the eternal sandbox of doubt — Saunders writes:

    In a world full of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power, what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure (that is, perpetually curious).

    One of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s original watercolors for The Little Prince.

    After a close reading of Chekhov’s short story “Gooseberries,” he reflects:

    It’s hard to be alive. The anxiety of living makes us want to judge, be sure, have a stance, definitively decide. Having a fixed, rigid system of belief can be a great relief.

    […]

    As long as we don’t decide, we allow further information to keep coming in. Reading a story like “Gooseberries” might be seen as a way of practicing this. It reminds us that any question in the form “Is X right or wrong?” could benefit from another round of clarifying questions. Question: “Is X good or bad?” Story: “For whom? On what day, under what conditions? Might there be some unintended consequences associated with X? Some good hidden in the bad that is X? Some bad hidden in the good that is X? Tell me more.”

    Art by Paloma Valdivia from Pablo Neruda’s Book of Questions

    This openness to more — to truth beyond story, to beauty beyond certainty — is precisely what teaches us how to love the world more. With a deep bow to Chekhov as the master of this existential art, Saunders writes:

    This feeling of fondness for the world takes the form, in his stories, of a constant state of reexamination. (“Am I sure? Is it really so? Is my preexisting opinion causing me to omit anything?”) He has a gift for reconsideration. Reconsideration is hard; it takes courage. We have to deny ourselves the comfort of always being the same person, one who arrived at an answer some time ago and has never had any reason to doubt it. In other words, we have to stay open (easy to say, in that confident, New Age way, but so hard to actually do, in the face of actual, grinding, terrifying life). As we watch Chekhov continually, ritually doubt all conclusions, we’re comforted. It’s all right to reconsider. It’s noble — holy, even. It can be done. We can do it. We know this because of the example he leaves in his stories, which are, we might say, splendid, brief reconsideration machines.

  • My busy season?

    For the start-up looking to establish itself in a rural community such as ours, business can be tough.

    The ‘busy season’ for most market towns with a short summer is the tourist footfall. Many traders have grown by relying on this, there’s only a short time of bounty for the seasonal business to become established.

    I used to ask myself … ‘What happens for the rest of the year?’ 

    Some start-ups follow the popular trends by spending their time cultivating new opportunities through social media. Hoping for a ‘win’ by eaching out during ‘conversation,’ or by joining popular posts. Many simply display images for the ‘offer of the day,’ a discount here or there during juxtaposition with the ‘traffic.’

    Social media? It’s a lottery for professional business looking to meet their next best customer. Me? I prefer personal engagement. I’m busy all year ’round.

    Sure, we’re all different. I do understand that some are more comfortable with the online business experience. I also understand that those with important plans for the future need the qualification that face to face brings.

    New connections have always been key to my business. This is why networking remains the essential routine for me. It’s my … ‘Support Network.’

    We’re lucky with a coming together of independent business people meeting regularly over breakfast, the conversation often carries a common topic … how can I help you? The new connections offer so much more than business. Because business is yet another by-product of networking.

    The regular meetings bring conversation alongside a whole new confidence in ‘what’s possible.’ The trusted network – or local community helps realise opportunity through broader vision. The familiar face is a ‘sounding board’ for choices, the investment of your time – and referral.

    We welcome all kinds of attendees. From established SME to the seasonal business looking to become that all year-round supportive enterprise. Most importantly we seek ‘people persons.’ The opportunity for the win-win is very real when we converse and it helps(?) we have a 7.30 – 9 am meeting – business before the ‘phones start.

    As a social enterprise there are no fees, apart from your choice of breakfast. No subscription or mandatory individual requirements to think of either. It’s a less complicated way of developing the greater marketplace, a kinder landscape.

    The Weeklybiz structured meetings encourage great prospects over a decent breakfast. For all types of kind people, in business all year round.

  • The magic of lucky

    Charlie, I’m suffering a famous ‘lack of confidence’ vote in myself … I don’t seem to be picking up any business through networking. I’m lucky with the introduction here and there, but … what am I doing wrong?

    Ian, there’s nothing wrong. You are practicing the art of networking. You, like all who practice ‘the magic,’ are sharpening your pencil for when the opportunity arises.

    Practice the magic?

    The feeling of unlucky and unloved? It’s more common than you think. Understand that we enjoy a network community with much to offer. Each attendee is a specialist in their art.

    Now Ian, until you give time to introduce yourself to each (everyone) in your network … through the one to one, you truly understand why it’s called ‘networking.’  It is here, when colleagues see you’ve committed to the long-haul … it is now, you will begin to benefit through networking.

    How long is the long haul, Charlie?

    It’s tough early-on, even more so when we see the immediate results others seem to enjoy. It may be a paradox? We ask ourselves, ‘why don’t I have this instant success?’

    More likely the results you witness early are a misunderstanding. Think, economy to scale.  We sometimes feel under-appreciated – but guess what? It’s all part of the experience. Don’t confuse networking with the quick-fix. Depending on the skills we have, we’re all blessed with the odd referral here and there. 

    Good, meaningful business Ian? It may not be the single photograph of the family I discussed with our photographer recently. The real referral is the opportunity to record an event or special occasion. That single photograph being a great initial introduction of skills leading to referral.

    We all know that it takes time for recommended business to come our way. So, the most effective way of building your reputation …’your lucky?’ 

    Be where your customers are. Have patience and practice your story. Inform your audience of your strengths. Who do you work with? Where do you work from, how far do you travel? Tell your story Ian, in technicolour!

    Your ‘lucky,’ arrives when you find yourself comfortable ‘in the room,’ happy being where your listeners are. Lucky is when your reputation has somehow preceded you. Realising that word-of-mouth has worked her magic.

    Your ‘lucky’ is a result of your presentations Ian. At some point you realise your team have heard your story away from the regular meeting. Your details passed on to the third party.

    ‘So how long does it take, Charlie?’

    OK Ian, reflect on what we’ve talked about. Once that meaningful practice of patience brings the magic, then lucky, let me know. You will have your answer and I can learn some more. 

    People buy from people they know and trust.

  • The BIG day

    It was a Sunday evening when I made my way, beverage in tow, to my favourite chair. The occasion was to witness the televised UK Darts final. Like other ill-informed fans, I was anticipating a walk-over. The world’s current best player, Michael Van Gerwen expected to be too good for Andrew Gilding.

    Again, I hear you say: “what does he know!”

    What transpired of course was a reverse result as Andrew Gilding (world ranked 42,) won 11 games to 10. It was a real surprise. After all, Andrew Gilding himself had hardly figured ‘on the circuit’ in recent years.

    Prior his tournament win … the 52 year-old Englishman remarked he had ‘all but given up hope of being successful.’ He thought his opportunity to be a winner had passed. 

    When asked what he credited to the dramatic change in fortune he said simply … ‘I’ve been lazy.’

    ‘For years I’d set practice aside, until I was lucky when an offer came of a start in the UK Darts Open. It was then I ‘knuckled down’ and began to work on my game. Even so, it was beyond my wildest dreams that I’d end up winning the title!’

    Andrew Gilding’s story is one that transcends the game of Darts. With every new attendee to The Weeklybiz network there’s an assumption of success. It’s natural of course, bringing your skills to a room of like-minded business colleagues and declaring the virtues of working alongside each other, we expect results to come our way … after all, we’ve turned up! Not everyone is successful.

    Not every new business has the vision for the long-haul. I’ve met many who visit the Weeklybiz to see what they can achieve in the shortest time possible. When I explain that ‘not everyone is – in the market for their kind of business – all of the time’ and that the best kind of referral comes through great understanding and trust … some don’t ‘get it.’ We don’t see them again.

    Results take time. As in any business, we revise our presentation skills, our offer, to meet the needs of the market.  

    On his ‘big day’ Andrew Gilding had faith in his skills, he worked on his game, practiced regularly and won the prize … and now … Andrew believes that he ‘can win everything.’

    Networking is about spending the time building your reputation.

    Reliable = referable.

  • Back to basics

    Car phones. Remember those?

    Back in the day I spent much of my time in the car, back and forth supporting customers. The arrival of the telephone in the vehicle was good for business.

    Today we’re seeing mobile as one of the mainstays, an essential ‘accessory.’

    We all have our opinions of the ‘pro’s and con’s’ when relying on the digital message, and there are those of us who spent time working without such technology who could offer a tale or two …

    There was a time, way before mobile phones(!) when I was ‘working from the office.’ The landlines were a little quiet and I was thinking of taking a break when I picked up a note requesting I call back.

    It was a new prospect wishing to seem me for new business. I returned the call.

    ‘Yes, thanks Bruce, see you within the hour …’

    Within minutes I found myself ‘back out on the road’ for the appointment. It was forty minutes to my central London appointment so I needed to allow plenty of time. Pretty soon I joined the traffic on the M4 when I realised that in my haste, I’d left the handset to my car ‘phone at the office.

    ‘Not a good start,’ I thought.

    An hour later I left the traffic of the motorway. ‘Five minutes to my destination, I shouldn’t be too late.’

    Arriving outside my destination, I found a handful of coins and fed the parking meter, went to the trunk of the car and found I’d left my presentation notes behind as well as the ‘phone …

    ‘OK, let’s do this.’

    I approached the plush offices, complete with Barrier Reef style fish tank in the window. Stumbling in haste up the stairs I entered via a large revolving door and paused for breath. In the distance I noticed the ‘glitz’ of reception waiting for me … at the end of what seemed an endless red carpet.

    Left and right of this red pathway was plush seating. Most appeared occupied by ‘lunch-time’ breakers engaged in animated conversation.

    I made my way as I considered an excuse for my late arrival.

    ‘Hello, I’m here to see Bruce, Charlie Kenny is my name. He is expecting me.’

    ‘Won’t be a minute Charlie, please take a seat.’ Replied the lovely lady behind the desk.

    It was then I noticed an unpleasant odour … glancing around me, I noticed the conversation from the lunch crowd had become more animated.

    Then I looked down at my right shoe …

    There, wrapped and rising (was it alive?) around my foot was the most unpleasant looking – what I can only describe here – as ‘doggy-do.’  

    I looked behind me toward the only revolving door exit … down the plush red carpet was the trail of ‘doggy-do …’ testimony to the attachment to my shoe.

    Not waiting to hear from my lovely receptionist, I was now thinking of nothing but escape. I first of all cleaned my shoe, (both sides, back and forth) using the carpet beneath me. With great haste I made my way past the now reeling onlookers, through the revolving door and toward the car.

    What a disaster! ‘Failed!’ I thought to myself, how could I face Bruce after this. ‘What messages would be waiting for me back at the office?’

    I wasn’t in the brightest frame of mind.

    I needn’t of worried.

    After another hour of self-depreciation I arrived to ‘face the music.’

    It was my receptionist who was waiting … ‘here we go’ I said to myself …

    “Charlie, you left behind your presentation folder – and your ‘phone handset!!’  

    Er, yes, sorry, I was in such a hurry to make the appointment …’

    ‘Well if you’d waited a few minutes you could have saved yourself a wasted journey. As your car pulled away, Bruce’s office called to cancel the appointment!

    Bruce had left the building for a minute, slipped on the steps and hurt himself. Apparently the problem was dog-mess … anyway, he’s now at the hospital.

    The said is there any chance you could reschedule the meeting for a couple of weeks?’

    And, why are you smiling?’

    Needless to say, like almost all everyone else I now have a mobile ‘phone attached to my person. BUT I still much prefer the in-person meeting wherever possible.

    It’s where the ‘life (sh–t) happens.’

  • Lasting impressions

    Gavin and I caught up after a few years being busy when he asked me:

    “Are you still networking?”

    I confirmed I was and that I was enjoying it, before he answered ‘why?’ … 

    How about you, Gavin, how’s business?

    Charlie, I’ve plenty to keep me busy, most of the new projects don’t come through networking, either.

    ‘Very pleased to hear that,’ I replied.

    Do you remember, it was a few short years ago, when you came to me looking for answers? Wondering when the next new client was coming your way?

    I introduced you to the Network.

    Yeah Charlie, I do remember, thanks for that. Nowadays I seem to be attracting business without the regular networking. Lucky eh?

    Gavin, you know the network you frequented for that 2/3 years may have something to do with the ‘busyness’ you now enjoy?

    With that ‘constant core’ of regular friends in the room listening to your declaration of skill … the call for support and description of the type of business you were looking? The people listened and during that time your name was the only one they referred.

    Your company was the one that the friends of old were recommending to other contacts, their own friends and family whenever the need arose. It was because they heard you as you supported them.

    It’s great that you are now benefitting from the work you put in during those early years Gavin. Networking is about the leverage that lasts, reputation building, and you have found that.

    Yes, I never forget those who helped me out – and you know? I seem to refer those same people without even thinking. 

    The most important part of the work is the beginning, eh Gavin? 

    Business is personal, first impressions count.

  • Going my way?

    I don’t know Charlie, I seem to be standing still. Whatever I try to do fails to change my luck, any ideas where I’m going wrong?

    We’re all vulnerable to negative influences Chris, especially when the market is flat. If you’re asking for my opinion though, I need to know where you wish to go?

    First thing is to understand that by doing nothing, we are in fact standing still. By doing nothing we’re not creating any opportunity to improving our prospects.

    Yes, I hear you Charlie, and like I said, I’m meeting with the network often. I’m following up my leads with enhanced updates to products and services as well. Nothing seems to be working at the minute.

    Chris, how long since your last enquiry? Remember, not everyone is in the market for your kind of business all of the time… think seasonal. The market is forever changing and so the opportunity is, over time, available to all.

    If we are consistent with the messages, patient, our time will come.

    So, when was that last business enquiry? Or your last testimonial? Mark it in the diary, follow-up with the next one and the next. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. Say, 12 months. Visualise the pattern of activity in the market you are addressing now so that in the future you might visualise what’s coming …

    Twelve months Charlie? I can’t wait that long for my luck to change.

    Ok, try quarterly market analysis, or monthly, weekly. The key to success … is to move by planning, doing. Keep up the message of consistency with your network. Change ‘your luck’ Chris, by planning ahead.

    Show your prospects the benefits of working alongside you.

    Chris, we mustn’t stand still, our prospects don’t. Be bold, be heard (not brash,) think aloud amongst friends, visualise (in technicolour) what success means to you, because …

    … yeah I know Charlie … ‘people buy from people.’

    Correct. Success Chris, is not about your next enquiry or job, it’s about how you inspire others to change … let’s tell the people where you are going and inspire those future customers to go with you! 

  • Who’s driving?

    So Charlie, can you remember why you decided to work for yourself?

    Mark, I remind myself of that same question whenever the going gets tough. 

    Why work for myself?  The personal rewards of course and (this may sound tedious) because I wanted control of my destiny. 

    What about you, Mark, do you enjoy your work? 

    Well yes and no … tech is ever-changing, so the pace is fast, ‘though I’m well rewarded for what I do. Heard about ChatGPT?”

    The GPwhaa..??  You seem to be enjoying the world of ‘tech,’ Mark?

    Ok, Charlie, I’m in it for the money. In fact, I need it, so I enjoy the tangible rewards for what I do. Yeah, I enjoy the job for the money.

    Mark, I was in a similar position to you earlier in my career. Then the money evaporated with the trade. This gave me an ‘opportunity’ to pursue something I enjoyed. Yet, I didn’t see change as a benefit right away. It took a while to find out exactly what kind of ‘opportunity’ came with the new direction. I made mistakes along the way. There was a period when I ‘experimented’ with promises & ‘lucrative’ roles. It wasn’t happening for me, all the while … I was looking for something else. 

    We all ‘work for ourselves,’ right Charlie?

    Correct Mark. I know now, during that transitional time for me the catalyst was the turmoil. I became driven to succeed through focus and fear of failure … the need to excel. I had the choice to step back or embrace the time. Even though ill judgment and wrong choices came along to ‘derail me,’ I survived, carried on and I have succeeded.

    I didn’t realise it at the time Mark … these small (though not insignificant) episodes in life were the magic to forging who I was to become. I learned to understand that I didn’t need to chase the big money to be happy. When I became content with who I was, I developed a business that could work without me. 

    So you’re planning on finishing up?

    Steady. Not yet Mark. I came to work for myself because I was free to pursue my passion. That passion continues as the development of life skills. I’m doing this by engaging the people that matter, my colleagues.

    The value of strong relationships as the foundation for happiness. This same strategy remains and will hold the business in good stead once I do ‘leave the room.’ 

    People buy people Mark, now who or what is ChatGPT?

  • The Take Away

    This was the question, recently:

    What was my biggest takeaway from ‘living away from the old country’ these past twenty years?”

    ‘It’s the holidays! Come on …’ These weird questions come to disarm us at the time we’re most vulnerable don’t you think?

    I couldn’t respond without giving this particular question a little thought, ‘so much water …’ I uttered. There were too many considerations in delivering the correct answer, of course.

    If there was one thing it must be the gratitude for my partnerships that have prevailed, my family in particular. These partnerships wouldn’t have been possible without me living where I am now. Something else though …

    Being self-employed for much of the past two and a half decades I’ve learned the lessons offered by showing courage. By taking ‘the bad with the good,’ and understanding that there will be tough times … (even though I didn’t realise how many) … courage can take us some way.

    Being brave comes at a price. We should understand who we are, why we have the yearning of where we wish to be, and have the courage to take risks along the path that leads to fulfillment. 

    Again, something else. Being brave can be taxing and so, today, more than ever, we definitely need to recognise strong relationships and … humour.

    Living ‘away from home’ has allowed me to lean a little more on my internal instincts and reserves. I’ve learned to offer transparency. Good relationships share vision, business thrives on trust and so vision, and transparency are prerequisites.

    So, what was ANOTHER takeaway, apart from the lasting relationships of the family? For me, it’s been the opportunity to observe how others live and thrive. Then being able to see how I might be brave enough to adapt and bring my own, independent expertise to the business of today.

    What do you see as the greatest ‘takeaway’ your business offers the customer in 2023?

    People buy from people because business is personal.

  • Meet, Harsha Moore

    Here’s (another) day for the Diary, commencing 13th Nov ’23 …

    Any Monday … 11- 12 pm (BST)
    Clear the way through … Kundalini Yoga Workshop
    hosted by my friend Harsha Moore …

    “Have a mat (or throw) and cushion to sit on the floor – ideal if possible, otherwise a chair to sit on

    A blanket or jumper to cover yourself during deep relaxation

    Please do not eat a heavy meal prior two hours before the session

    and please bring yourselves with a willingness to share”

    ZOOM I.D. No … 476 566 6166


    We are supporting Thomas Pocklington Trust (the charity for those with partial or permanent sight loss.)


    #SightLoss #kundaliniyoga #newyou