CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

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about

I love the coast and in particular, the area in which I live, the North East of England. It’s an uncomplicated life, for the past twelve years I’ve been away from the ‘big smoke’ … and the decision to relocate my business to the North has been the best move of my career. So far. I am a writer and have a lifetime of experience in publishing and personal development. I now consider myself a specialist in helping my clients with memoirs – this could be a biography, or simply bringing diary pages to life. I tend not to advertise my business, word of mouth has always been kind so it’s no surprise that I do spend a couple of days per week in collaboration through networking. Peer collaboration can be very rewarding. Therefore, if you’d like to join me fortnightly for Wednesday ZOOM or either Tuesday or Thursday for (in-person) morning coffee, please get in touch. I’d love to meet you and perhaps help in any way possible. Thank you for stopping by the website. engage, develop, grow … with Go! charliekenny@live.co.uk

  • Meet Victoria Hart

    I recently had the opportunity to talk with Victoria Hart, Conscious Creation Coach and asked her how she may be able to help anyone, like me, be a more compassionate, sharing business owner …

    “It’s not too late? Is it?” Here’s what Victoria had to say:

    It’s never too late to change, Charlie. I’d love to share some of the challenges many business leaders face and how I can help them work through them… 

    Of course, anyone can try to lead. However, being a great leader is a whole different matter. To be a true leader, you need a team that looks up to you for guidance, direction and support, and you need a business that relies on your expertise for success. Even more than that, you need to have the right self-image to navigate the complex waters that being a leader can take you through. 

    • Staying humble while remaining confident
    • Dealing with anxiety and stress without letting emotions overtake your decisions or demeanor
    • Keeping yourself and your team motivated to make a difference whilst avoiding burnout
    • Developing conscious leadership skills by tapping into your highest potential
    • Dealing with conflict with ease and grace
    • Clear and effective communication 

    When you work with me, you will begin to feel a sense of personal freedom as, in your own time, you disentangle from collective consciousness and release the many limiting beliefs you developed through unconscious childhood programming from unawakened parents, teachers, culture, society, religion and media. When you begin to crack these codes, you can start adjusting your actions and thought process to better influence, lead and inspire your team members and help you overcome the above challenges. And, live to your highest potential and purpose!

    Every business leader is going to face challenges. And while many factors can influence the types of obstacles you face, it’s a common truth that you’ll indeed face challenges of one sort or another. Below, I’ve listed some of the most common roadblocks that almost all business leaders have faced or will face at some point in their careers:

    You can learn how to better communicate your intentions, deal with conflict and keep everyone, including yourself, motivated. You’ll be able to identify and respond to moments of stress and anxiety, and you’ll be able to master the art of balancing confidence with humility.

    By accessing a higher intelligence, leaders will notice improved health, productivity and quality of life.

    My goal is to empower you to become a better leader and overcome your daily challenges. I help you learn where you may be operating on autopilot so that you can make conscious informed choices. I offer one-on-one conscious leadership coaching to help you reach your leadership goals more easily with long-term effectiveness. 

    Victoria Hart, Conscious Creation Coach is available for term assignments, although an initial conversation is always the best place to start: Tel: +44 (0)20 7871 3641 or visit the web, or reach out via email. victoria@theconsciouscreationcoach.com

    Home

  • Just Be.

    Be you.

    The Shadow Elephant: A Tender Illustrated Fable About What It Takes to Unblue Our Sorrows and Lighten the Load of Our Heaviest Emotions

    BY MARIA POPOVA

    The Shadow Elephant: A Tender Illustrated Fable About What It Takes to Unblue Our Sorrows and Lighten the Load of Our Heaviest Emotions

    The strange thing about life, the wondrous thing about life, is that it is impossible to dull one hue of our emotional experience without dulling the entire spectrum, impossible to feel deeply at one end of it without feeling as deeply at the other. And without the chromatic intensity of feeling life deeply and fully, why live at all? 

    This elemental truth is especially pronounced in a creative life — a life that requires of us what Virginia Woolf called, in her transcendent existential epiphany, the “shock-receiving capacity” that makes an artist an artist. And yet we go to extreme lengths to avoid receiving this shock of aliveness, to avoid fully feeling the portions of the spectrum we deem unhandsome or inconvenient, to dull our own sadnesses and divert others from theirs, then walk away when we fail. It is a human impulse, this urge to shoo the sadness away. It is also dehumanizing, for only when we let the blues rush in with their full intensity do we become fully alive and awake to the dazzling spectrum of feeling that makes life worth living. 

    That is what Canadian author Nadine Robert and Italian artist Valerio Vidaliexplore with great subtlety and tenderness in The Shadow Elephant (public library).

    The book opens with a lovely quote from The Little Prince, line-broken like a poem:

    And when you are comforted
    (we all eventually are)
    you will be happy to have known me.
    You will always be my friend.

    Then the story unfolds, introducing the melancholy protagonist — a great blue elephant, prostrated with a heavy feeling against a great gradient of blue.

    Some said the elephant was gloomy.
    Some said he was trying to hide his sadness.
    Some said he preferred the shadows.

    The other animals of the savannah — bright and cheerful and suncast — try to lift the elephant out of his gloom by telling him silly stories, dancing him silly dances, bringing him their favorite foods. 

    Not a smile. Not a sound.
    The elephant listened attentively,
    but remained in the shadows.

    And then, one day, a tiny mouse out of breath emerges from another scale of existence and asks simply whether she can sit beside the elephant and rest a little. This small ask — this nonjudgmental and unanxious presence with the elephant’s sadness — becomes the portal of his transformation. 

    The elephant is at first incredulous that the mouse isn’t there to distract him from his blues with some gimmick. But then she begins to tell him her own story — how she had gone out into the savannah to find her sister’s most precious possession, a golden key; how she had walked a whole day, only to become as lost as the key; how she is now terrified that she would find neither what she went looking for nor her way home.

    Something about the mouse’s plight, about the ease with which she shares her sorrow with him, unlatches something in the elephant. He begins to cry — big, silent tears. Then she begins to cry, by that exquisite natural bond of creaturely sympathy that binds us when we cease to feel separate and alone in our sorrow. 

    Slowly, “drained of his tears,” the elephant rises, large and light, and hoists the mouse onto his back, offering to give her a ride home. Gently, without unease or demand, she invites him to tell her his own story. 

    “I can try,” he exhales as they vanish together behind the horizon of aloneness. 

    The Shadow Elephant comes from my friends at the visionary Enchanted Lion Books, makers of uncommonly poetic and profound illustrated portals into the emotional universe — treasures like Cry, Heart, But Never Break, Big Wolf & Little Wolf, The Lion and the Bird, Bertolt, This Is a Poem That Heals Fish, and The Forest (also illustrated by Vidali). 

    Complement this particular treasure with The Heart and the Bottle — Oliver Jeffers’s tender illustrated fable of what we stand to lose when we deny our difficult emotions — then revisit a moving animated short film about depression and what it takes to recover the light of being.

    Illustrations courtesy of Enchanted Lion Books; photographs by Maria Popova

  • Some struggle

    Some struggle

    It was the end of our regular network breakfast and I was about to leave the room when Gail stopped me and asked:

    “Do you think you and I could have a one-to-one, Charlie?”

    “Always happy to chat,” came my reply as we headed for the nearest empty seats. “How can I help you?” I asked.

    Gail and I chatted for a few minutes, she has a new business franchise and it’s early days in networking. I could see she was finding her feet, although, something seemed to be bothering her.

    “It may sound odd Charlie, it’s that I don’t know how to ask for help.”

    She chuckled when I replied. “My parents always told me not to talk to strangers …

    “It’s not unusual to be reticent about asking for help. Some mistakenly feel it is a weakness and choose not to ask for professional opinions at all? Remember, not every established business started out with a strong reputation.

    The difference between a start-up and an established business? It’s a developed, thriving referral pipeline built up over time. Once the reputation is established, most new business comes through recommendation, word of mouth.”

    “If I were in your shoes, Gail …”

    She interrupted me.  “No, I get it now Charlie. I need to show my vulnerability as a new business?”

    “Yes, show them you are human, and most importantly, give the network the time to work …

    Demonstrate to colleagues what you can do with their help. Stick around after the meeting, and swap stories. Like today, share some time. Be with your referral partners regularly. Show them you value their support, by making yourself available and give ‘the room’ the chance to help you … Once people know you,  through the one-to-ones you’ll find you won’t need to ask for help.

    Some struggle in the early days of networking, Gail. It’s only natural to compare yourself to others, more established in business. Because that’s where most aspire to be.

    Success comes to those who understand that ‘business is personal.’ “

    #networking #meaningfulconnections #huntersfarmers

  • an extra pair of eyes

    an extra pair of eyes

    I like to work with people who know their business, don’t you?

    So, to develop a reputation as the go-to person, what’s your plan?

    Becoming successful doesn’t happen overnight. The new business can find the early days daunting, but if you ‘stick at it’ and prove to be reliable, you’ll soon find you become … referable.

    Most of us are somewhat aware that marketing is key. How do you tackle that, where do you start?

    Being biz-aware is a great place to start. Ensure you understand your positioning, do you have customers? Where are these based? Who may be your competitors?

    Visability (biz ability) is important and needs careful planning. Confidence will grow over time with a track record, prolific identity and affinity.

    So with confidence in your offer, your new business gains trust. With trust, you have an affinity. Customers are likely to become friends willing to recommend you via word-of-mouth.

    Knowing your season is another important factor when maintaining confidence. Do you have a year-round product or service? Is there a seasonal downturn?

    Many experience some form of ‘quiet periods. Even so, it’s important to continue flying the flag during a down turn. ‘Business ready’ for when your customers are buying once more.

    An up-to-date website, social media, and blog all bring opportunity. We’re all tempted to invest in tools and being savvy about what works can be tricky. Marketing can be costly, so take advice.

    So it’s also worth thinking of in-person networking to keep your business on track. If only because networking is great for peer engagement. Having an extra pair of eyes and ears working for your business is fantastic for confidence. Not to mention reputation.

    People buy from people.

  • The Bad Boy

    The Bad Boy

    An excerpt from the novel, “The Ruffian’ by:

    Kevin John Ragnarsson Wilson Lee Clarke

    ————————————————————————

    My Mother’s passing left me hollow. I felt now I had nothing. Everyone I ever loved had departed, left me. I was immersed in a sense of misery and self-pity. Feeling unloved, worthless …

    Years later, I still wonder what might have been if Sean hadn’t come into our lives. I know I shouldn’t look back, mother always used to say the next life was inevitable so we should look to enjoy the time we have now, without regret.

    I did listen to what mum said although being so self absorbed, the importance of what she meant at the time didn’t resonate, not until another old friend came back into my life …

    Mo and I had casually met up not long after I’d returned from Ireland, almost ‘bumping into each other’ in Wooler where she now owned the local antiques shop. We’d always exchange pleasantries and of course the chat was of common memories, ‘the days of old,’ together at school, it was curt conversation and nothing more. 

    Then one day … I must have been feeling particularly sorry for myself when Mo declared ‘You look like an empty shell! Whatever is the matter? 

    She was concerned, always sincere, she wondered about me, asking what was the certain something I’d lost? Even then I couldn’t bring myself to tell my story. After all, I still had the police watching, apparently with an ‘open file.’ Always a reminder to ‘keep my mouth shut.’

    Whenever I began to feel better I was reminded of my past. They continued to delve into all sorts of background history and I felt as if I was under ‘house arrest’ with no-one I could to talk to.

    The fact was, the happy go-lucky Michael that Mo once knew wasn’t around just now.

    During our conversations I would mention the loss of my mother, how this had affected me and that this had made me the way I was. This became my shield. In truth I had nothing I dare talk about with anyone, (let alone Mo) for the memory of Sean still haunted me and to even think … that Mo and I could possibly be close friends?? 

    “Pull yourself together Michael, you know your ma wouldn’t like to see you like this.”

    The thought of a relationship never seriously crossed my mind. When it did, it terrified me although deep down I knew if I was to progress my life, I had to trust again and move on at some point.

    Mo could see I had issues, call it women’s intuition. I have Mo to thank for many things and I think it was brave of her when, as we shared a smile outside her shop, she approach me with ‘a plan.’ 

    Little did I know the most important indebtedness I owed was to come …

    ‘Michael, I need a favour. Would you accompany me to Edinburgh?’

    ‘I have a cousin I haven’t seen for years and she’s quite poorly. I have a car, but I don’t drive, would you be able to take me? We’d be back for the weekend?’

    Surprising myself, I uttered a jumbled, confused reply … ‘Edinburgh? 

    OK, only if you let me buy the fish and chips … er, Dinner?

    ………..

    Two days later we were off, 60-odd miles to Edinburgh, chatting all the way as old friends do. There was much to catch up on although I was wary and understood that it would take some time before I’d be able to drop my guard. To have the courage and confidence in disclosing the full story of how I’d gained the confidence of an IRA captain? I wasn’t sure I could discuss it with anyone as it still frightened me.

    I need not have bothered, Mo was full of catch-up conversation, all chit-chat, nothing I needed to be specifically guarded about and by mid-afternoon we were checking in to the Edinburgh Balmoral Hotel. 

    ‘Mr and Mrs Collins please,’ Mo declared.

    We were given the key to the best suite the hotel had available. Anxiety now set in at the thought of sharing a room with Mo and so I was relieved to see that it was a twin suite. Smiling now, I handed the bell boy a good tip as Mo phoned down for snacks. 

    ‘What time would you like dinner?’ I asked.

    Unbeknownst to me, Mo had ordered Champagne and of course this was to set the tone. Mo and I were soon in each others’ arms … dinner can wait, she breathed into my ear. 

    That night was planned as a night on the town, drinks and a meal, just the two of us. Mo and I would see her cousin at elevenses tomorrow, so we had plenty of time to become better acquainted. 

    Edinburgh was ours for a few short days and I dared to imagine how it could continue. Was I ready? Was Mo ready (or deserving) to hear my story. No, not yet, I can’t spoil it now!?

    Next day we called in to see Mo’s family from her mother’s side. Her cousin was living with mum after a bout of surgery and she was so happy to see Mo. This was to be a welcome wake-up for me with a note to myself to ‘catch up on family!’

    Returning to the City, Mo was directing traffic, pointing the way as we walked, she said … “let’s go in there, they say they are best fish and chips served in Scotland. What do you think? The aroma coming down the street would make anyone hungry.”

    Now I recognised where we were. The pub we were heading toward was familiar during the days I was with Sean, almost five years ago. It was called the Queens Arms and, as I shuddered as I entered, it was if someone had walked over my grave. I felt faint and for a split second my whole body shivered. 

    Mo chose a table as I excused myself and made my way to the toilet. At the wash basin, I stood in front of the wall mirror, drying my hands and face with a paper towel. I swear it was the very same mirror in place when Sean and I were lovers. I was transfixed as I peered at my reflection in the mirror. Was that me? I swore out loud as Sean’s familiar, predatory face was gazing back at me. 

    I almost lunged at his ghostly vision, instead I spat … “You evil bastard!?” 

    All those years ago Sean was always suffering with an upset stomach, and I remembered laughing at Sean, saying “I hope your backside is sore and tender, sandpaper rubbed raw!” 

    During our time here long ago, Sean had come out of the cubicle, just as I saw now – standing behind me, wrapping his arms about me. He leaning over my shoulder to throw his tongue down my throat, delivering his customary sloppy wet kiss,!

    “Don’t you laugh at me with the runs, whatever I’ve got now – you’ll have it tomorrow!”

    It was too real, too much for me. I was unsettled and lashed out, gazing deeply into that same mirror and through his reflection, I uttered “Sean it was you, only you who made me feel truly sick, when I got rid of you, I was rid of my sickness! Now F**k off Irish bastard!” 

    I looked over my shoulder once more, just as a strangers voice asked:

    Are you Ok mate?

    © 2023 Kevin John Ragnarsson Wilson Lee Clarke

  • Ignore the sat-nav

    Ignore the sat-nav

    I’ve always believed we should be enjoying life, whatever occupies us, wherever we are. After all, life’s too short.

    During our lifetime the average person spends a third of their life working. Many people follow a daily routine. From the moment we wake, choices are being made … and I’m sure, like me, you’d choose the less taxing, more pleasurable path over the more challenging.

    If we’re lucky enough to have an easy option, that is …

    Take for instance a friend of mine, very successful in what she does, I see her at our business catch-up. She’s a charming person and the type of lady who appears to cram in a lot during her day. So busy is her calendar that … ‘How do you do that?’ … is often the catchphrase during conversation.

    “I know, she’d reply. I’ve always plenty to do, even before I leave the house in the morning I feel as if I’ve worked a full day … I wish I could make our meeting a regular thing, the grounding does me good. I’m so busy these days.” 

    “Why not change your plan and rearrange the diary? Make our regular catch-up your most important date … give it a month, and see what happens? I replied.

    ‘Besides, I continued. Those looking to refer you may find your frantic schedule is a hindrance to them offering you more work? 

    Why not seek advice … ask a trusted friend how they enjoy success while contending with growth?’

    Not forgetting, it’s a great complement to anyone … when you ask their advice.’ “

    Some are driven by the apparent urgency of business needs. So much so, we miss out on the real joys of life, working for ourselves. Pleasures such as sharing time in conversation with others? Reminding ourselves we’re never too busy to share a smile?  Learning how to juggle the calendar and still have time to smell the roses?

    You know, some people appear to have it all … everything but happiness. 

    Spending so much time checking the diary, what’s next, looking beyond now … watching the sat-nav, and a wrong turn … we don’t see what’s happening around us. Even when the good things are right before us in the shape of like-minded colleagues. 

    It’s no wonder some of us appear too busy for conversation, too busy for more business.

  • Am I OK?

    Am I OK?


    I’m at a stage where my ‘business’ tends to run itself. Even though I don’t reflect too much on this landmark, it makes me happy. It’s a destination I’d always hoped I’d arrive at some point.

    Life in business is rarely plain sailing …

    There was a point not so long ago when I though I’d made another wrong decision …

    Ever thought you’d spent too much time on a given arrangement? Or a certain path? Spent too much time playing with marketing trends when you know you should have walked away? Not listened and so spent too much money?

    It’s a ‘yes’ from me to all the above..

    These ‘trial and error’ situations are common in new business. When some big idea you try fails, it’s tough. It shouldn’t leave regret although I admit, I felt that way plenty of times, I felt I’d let those who trusted in me down. I felt I’d let myself down.

    Not guilty.

    “Never regret, if it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad, it’s experience – Jean Plaidy.

    Today I look back on the tough times and put it down to a learning experience. I don’t allow time for regret, I learn from it and through all those times of doubt … I know I’ve come out stronger. One of life’s wonderful lessons.

    Life takes time to get you right. We’re complex beings us humans!

    There’s no set time to mould the ideal business, something that’s right for you. There are plenty of obstacles, you’ll face many distractions. The best advice I heard was to take advice!

    Networking works.  

    I’m living proof that losing isn’t fatal and pretty soon I found out that life was giving me back what I put in.

    Have a go, try things, learn from your regrets and turn them to wins, becoming the person who other seek out.  You are not guilty.

    If you need help in banishing regret, please get in touch, I’d be happy to help.

    ‘people buy from people’

  • Catch you later …

    Catch you later …


    Sue and I sat down at the kitchen table to sample the latest cake. Wonderful!

    I felt I must be getting on in years if I’m feeling excited about yet another appointment with cake? 

    Yet, that’s me, I’m in my happy place!

    Anyway, I was about to sink my teeth into a rather generous slice … when son Jack announced himself. 

    ‘Great timing!’ That was all he said as Sue stood to deliver an even larger portion of the latest home bake, not yet 24 hrs old. ‘I’ll have a coffee, if you’re making it, please mum?’

    In fear of losing my own sustenance, I set about making short work of it as Jack asked …

    ‘So, how’s it going Dad? What have you been up to?’

    Sue, seeing I had my mouth full, answered for me:

    ‘Well, the usual. Your dad’s glued to his computer, I’ve been walking the dog. Last night we watched a decent movie, on Netflix … what was it called, Charlie?’

    ‘Who was in it?’ Jack replied, juggling his ‘phone.

    ‘Christian Bale and Woody Harrelson were stars, plus …’ I replied.

    ‘Foundry.’ Jack replied, peering at his ‘phone. ‘The film was Foundry, a great movie, Casey Affleck was brilliant as well.’

    Yes, I’d remember eventually … saves me thinking … I thought.

    Managing to demolish the treat, Jack rose, coffee in hand and asked what we were doing ‘later-on?’ He needed to ‘make a move now’ as he was on his way to collect his wife from the station.

    That’s when I noticed the dexterity of dear son as he finished his cake, while swallowing most of his coffee, simultaneously juggling details on his ‘phone …

    I’d barely uttered … ‘so we may see you later-on?’  As he’d leaned over, kissed his mum, before making for the exit answering …

    ‘Yes, I was thinking of bringing pizza over, let me know what combination you’d prefer?’ We’ll catch you later, OK? Bye!

    Gone. Peace.

    I was about to exclaim once more how lucky we are to be living where we were. It’s a peaceful place, ’til family arrives.

    Sue questioned me with a knowing smile. ‘Come on Charlie. How many times have I heard you say … how much easier networking would be if everyone was as transparent as family?’

    Good things take time, I responded. Trust takes time …’

    People buy from people.

  • Staying the course

    Staying the course

    I was talking with a friend of mine recently during one of our morning meetings. Dennis is a successful dealer of antiques. A senior guy who confesses he should have retired ‘years ago.’

    ‘Then why don’t you?’ I asked. (Knowing the answer didn’t stop me asking anyway …)

    The object of derision for Dennis was a fellow visiting us this morning. Full of enthusiasm, his agenda was plain to see, coming across town to declare his latest product, encouraging new business.

    During our conversation I asked Dennis whether he thought our visitor would return?

    “If he’s picked up promises, or actual business interest, he may. He looked to be hunting.”

    So why is it you return, your business is doing well. Could it be the breakfast? I’m sure you’re not hunting these days?

    “You know why, Charlie. I don’t like sitting still!

    I enjoy the company of other people, yes the breakfast plays it’s part as well. For almost 40yrs business has been myself and one or two part-time assistants. I offer a particular kind of art and so this attracts those looking for specifics. It’s the same for me, I’m on the look-out for what makes a difference to other people. I find regular contact, breaking bread here with those in the group instils the confidence to converse. It’s precious to me as I discover what friends are looking for. People inspire change, keeping my old business current. Plus of course, I’m out of ‘the office’ for a while, privy to plenty help as and when I need it. I sure the same applies to you?”

    What Dennis was saying was right. After all, he and I have been friends for a few years now and so we’ve adopted a similar outlook. As the network has grown, we’ve learned know and trust each other.

    At Weekly Business Dennis and I have seen all kinds of people visiting. Many do spend time engaging, learning from each other.

    The ‘hunters’ play their part as well, the salesmen, especially when we have the quasi-governmental organisations visiting periodically, to encourage what we’ve known for years … ‘people buy from people.’

  • please, tell me your story

    please, tell me your story

    Del and I had met for a one to one. We were discussing the illustrations for a forthcoming booklet, amongst other things.

    The subject we spent time on had the common interest of networking. How the path to tangible results varies from person to person, industry to industry.

    The networking process usually offers time of consolidation. The ‘getting to know you’ phase is vital before the trust shared.

    I shared with Del the story from the meeting earlier that day.

    It was a few years ago in London, I’d started a role as consultant, employed by a reprographics firm. My main client was Ron, he managed a small printing company who required I was at their premises early each day. I was supporting the press preparation for the teams working that day. 

    I needed to be ‘on site’ for 7.30, “why not get here a little earlier, we can share a coffee, put the world to rights?”

    Business is personal, right? The arrangement suited me. I lived ten miles North of his factory, it was another ten miles south to the repro. works with whom I worked. Besides, early breakfasts at home weren’t popular during the working week.

    I spent several years meeting Ron ‘before the ‘phones started.’ We ‘chewed the fat,’ got to know each other well. We learned much about each other by gazing out on the world, coffee in hand. Tales of ‘the trade,’ the gossip and future business etc. I enjoyed learning from Ron.

    ‘Tangible results?’ I hear you say?

    Over time we learned how each other ticked. We understood the humour and what was important for today and what we were looking for long-term. Ron kept me busy because I proved myself reliable, I could hold a routine and I knew the business. Yes, the results with Ron were good, both parties fulfilled.

    The bigger picture? (Because there is always a bigger picture.) The firm that funded Ron’s small company in London had a HQ in Birmingham.

    The result of the collaboration with Ron? Albeit over several years, the proven relationship led to greater commerce between the firm I was working for and Birmingham.

    Networking, where everyone wins, given time. Time to develop routines, become reliable, realising you are referable.