CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

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about

I love the coast and in particular, the area in which I live, the North East of England. It’s an uncomplicated life, for the past twelve years I’ve been away from the ‘big smoke’ … and the decision to relocate my business to the North has been the best move of my career. So far. I am a writer and have a lifetime of experience in publishing and personal development. I now consider myself a specialist in helping my clients with memoirs – this could be a biography, or simply bringing diary pages to life. I tend not to advertise my business, word of mouth has always been kind so it’s no surprise that I do spend a couple of days per week in collaboration through networking. Peer collaboration can be very rewarding. Therefore, if you’d like to join me fortnightly for Wednesday ZOOM or either Tuesday or Thursday for (in-person) morning coffee, please get in touch. I’d love to meet you and perhaps help in any way possible. Thank you for stopping by the website. engage, develop, grow … with Go! charliekenny@live.co.uk
  • My best friend

    My best friend

    “I’ve had enough.”

    Many times I’d heard this from Alice and never really listened … now I couldn’t help but notice, as she uttered the words, the decibels were definitely a notch or two up on ‘the norm’ and I noticed also, she didn’t look particularly happy.

    ‘It’s too hard, they’re not listening to me, I’m not getting a return on my calls either.’

    Alice is our sales lead, she is very good at her job, connects with people, emotive and knows when to ‘close.’ Alice is a valuable ally. Sales was something I was involved with some years ago so I could in part understand her frustration, although there was something else bugging her, I could tell, good at connecting yes, but I sense she’d lost the connection with herself.

    Her ‘best friend’ was copping a verbal battering:
    ‘I don’t think I’m cut out for this, there is not enough consistency, I’m not getting the results and I feel like a failure. I’m just don’t think I’m good enough anymore…’

    ‘Take a breath, sit back, go for a walk and if you’re still not happy, change.’ I suggested.

    Alice was not in a good frame of mind. Warily, I persisted.

    ‘If you are not happy, change … change something.’ I added.

    Like most, Alice thrives in a ‘positive’ environment. If there is something in the way of our happiness then we need to consider change. So, we walked, we talked and agreed that we’d start from the beginning, realise the goal, understand she is successful, change the approach to match each individual day and monitor growth on a daily basis – if there was something that wasn’t working, we’d remove it and start again, we’d be pushing the limits for satisfaction, keep our ‘best friend happy.’

    Why not try this test yourself?

    Are you satisfied with where you are?
    If not, what is ‘still’ the same – what needs quitting?
    Consider the ‘next level’ of where you wish to be – and how you can get there.

    Just like Alice … ‘Easy done!’ I hear you say.

    Think of it this way … would you continue keeping all your money under the mattress if a trusted friend had found you a failsafe way of doubling your net worth?
    Would you go to the gym and practice the same weights, day in, day out with the same routine and wonder why you are not getting the results you want?
    Perhaps you are doing just what ‘you think’ needs doing to move ahead, although realising that you are staying in the same place?

    We all have the opportunity for change at any given moment. To impact our ‘now’, our future outlook, our personal or professional goals for well-being and ultimately happiness.

    Alice still berates herself (her own best friend) on occasion although she is now very much in control and even reminds me from time to time, being happy means to embrace change.

  • Blame it on the Greeks!

    Blame it on the Greeks!

    The Greeks certainly know a thing or two about life. After all, our entire civilisation was founded on Greek philosophy and teaching.

    The following story goes back a way although not quite as far back as the early Greek philosophers (I’m not that senior) although it is thanks to the Greeks I now understand where this lesson came from.

    Steve ‘wrote me a letter’ (did I mention this went back a way?) He was looking for a job in sales and wanted to break into my industry at the time – he fancied himself as a top-gun salesman and by the sounds of the letter he knew the business.

    Out of courtesy I wrote him back and arranged an interview.

    On the day we met it was evident Steve was not the picture of ‘traditional(?)’ suit wearing salesman. His stocky frame was draped in a jacket that was overly sized, the trousers were a tad short with unkempt shoes… and the tie – yes there was a tie somewhere.

    There was a bead of perspiration over his brow that gave a hint of anticipation to our meeting. But hey, it was a warm day for the jacket(!) and Steve was here, he turned up on time, so we talked.

    It seemed Steve had been out of work for a while, he was likeable, had some experience, he was locally focused and he was willing to prove himself.

    Steve also had that most important ingredient we look for in any relationship, Steve displayed passion. Steve was so convinced that he could make a difference to our organisation and his own well-being that it didn’t take me long to offer him a trial working alongside one other, more ‘conventional’ sales-type … much to the dismay of ‘personnel.’

    Ok, back to the Greek thing …

    Three ingredients make up any conversation according to our ancient teachers.

    Ethos .. This is the character of the speaker, or person you are conversing with.

    Pathos .. The emotional connection that you have during the dialogue

    And

    Logos .. The factual content that make up the conversation, the words.

    The Greeks of old believed that to hear your message the listener first needed to positively connect on an emotional level before they even began to listen to what you had to say. If they don’t buy in to you, then the  message is lost.

    Still with me?

    OK, my experience working with Steve proved a most enjoyable (and profitable) time.

    Although Steve wasn’t that archetypal salesperson from our kind of sector, (is there one?) he proved  passionate; he connected with the emotional. Steve is able to succeed by displaying an inbred passion for the job, passion for success.

    The message has stayed with me. Everyone has a particular skill that may not be evident at first meeting, we simply need to give some time, don’t you think?

    It’s about ‘people buying people,’  the Greeks taught us that one, Steve had simply reminded me.

    shelly greece

  • Banzai or Bonsai?

    Banzai or Bonsai?

    I’m into Bonsai just now, it’s easier on the bones than digging the borders and I like the idea that once the initial planting is done we now ‘just’ need to give it time, some TLC over time.

    With the holiday season bringing more time for most there is a certain reflective period that many working for themselves pass through, as for me, I’m reflective most days when usually accompanied by a good cup of tea. What about you?

    What are your reflective thoughts usually founded on? How do you pass through the down time, is it with an action or another famous cup of tea? Or both?

    One of the networking groups I host up here is a fledgling start up with a variety of really clever people. Some are new to network engagement, others with a long-standing understanding of when to take action or when to take a break. As it happens, this new group is taking a hiatus through the summer holiday.

    Other forum groups I’m supporting continue throughout all seasons, there is maturity in the room and an understanding of the importance and value of continued engagement.

    Bill is an attendee of the new group and enquired when would be a good time to visit the ‘open all hours’ forum, he was kicking his heels, gone stir crazy and he “needed the people” …(his words not mine.)

    “Any time is a good time Bill, your ‘specialist subject’ does not clash with others cultivating the referral, come on over.” I suggested.

    Bill was taking action. He knows that people are key to his business and an important part of his strategy for growth. Instead of choosing the extra tea break during reflection Bill chose action, made up his mind to engage real people.

    I like Bill; there should be more like Bill – although he does drink a lot of tea, even when he is taking action!

     

    So is it Bonsai or  Banzai … decisions, decisions …

    bonsai1

  • The one golden nugget

    The one golden nugget

    What do you get reading about elite performers … about their drive, their discipline? It’s different feelings for each of us as we hear how others set out to achieve ‘best in their field’ status – learning more about themselves as they work at reaching those goals.

    It’s great to hear of their dedication, their trials and the lessons in pursuit of accomplishments. Understanding how they’ve failed, they’ve developed.

    It’s personal, that’s what is in it for me. That’s the ‘motivational nugget,’ the personal message.

    I was walking off a beach the other evening and bumped into a local triathlete, it was around 7pm and ‘Bea’ having been in the water for the past hour, was off to bed. We had a little banter about ‘staying the distance’ and the sometimes obsession that the elite athletes have with gain, with beating the clock and the physical peak that seems to make up most of the cause.
    As impressive as all the athletes are, behind each is a story. With Bea she talks about lots of stuff, including the toll her sport takes on her now 27-year-old body. She trains up to 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. It’s a level of physical dedication most of us find hard to fathom.
    Just as Bea was making her way home for a well-earned rest, she hinted:

    “People don’t realise how mental it is. As much as I pursue my passion, I feel like I have a really, really, good workout, just once a month.”

    Bea loves the sport, amongst the dozen or so locals she trains with she will be the senior member of the group although she ‘hangs in there.’
    But in the course of 6-hour workouts, 5 days a week, over an entire month, Bea only credits herself with having one good workout.
    Bea makes a point of saying she is a perfectionist, that her own high standards are why she feels as though she only has one good workout a month. The rest let her down. … let… her… down?!
    While her pursuit of perfection are admirable, she also certainly has a large margin of forgiveness. How else could she show up so often and put in that many hours on the understanding that most of what she does is not really any good.
    I had to disagree with Bea on something though – I think most of us DO realise that routine and pursuit of goals is a mental challenge. It’s the harder part.I simply think we don’t know how to manage the mental aspects of our efforts with consistency and confidence.I think we’re conditioned to believe that every workout should be good, the best.
    We tend to beat ourselves up if we don’t perform at peak, skip an hour or miss a particular circuit routine and we’ve failed.

    The good news is, our own efforts rarely need to be as finely tuned as our triathlete. Our success is not dependent on such a high level of perfection. In fact, our ideas of perfection are merely perceptions that evolve with increased experience and competence. As we develop, we expect more.
    One advantage (just one?) most ‘dedicated’ athletes have over us, is that in most cases someone has gone before them. There are rules, expectations, and often, established paths that when followed, aid in their growth. Of course there are no guarantees in the results they may be looking for but by following the plan, they’re well on their way to measurable results.
    You and I though, not quite such the ‘elite athlete’ perhaps as we juggle our own daily challenges, find it difficult at times to choose who to listen to or what system to use. We’re distracted by every new idea under the sun, thinking there must be an easier way. We want to hear of the new trick to get us more sales or a better app to help us be more organized. We try a new social media platform believing it will magically change our business, and if we don’t try it, we will surely fail.

    Lets just keep … it … simple.

    Like I said, I love individual stories. The personal draws me in.
    There are patterns everywhere if you look for them. The patterns tell their own story and interestingly enough, they reveal the easier path almost every time.
    Here is a great ‘routine’ given to me by a friend … see what you think:

    Decide – Know what you will be doing before your day begins. This will be your plan. Without it, you’re just making things up.

    Prepare – Know where you need to be and what you need to have with you to execute the plan. If your plan is to make 50 sales calls, you gotta get organised, probably need 50 names, 50 numbers, a phone, and a notebook.

    Show Up – Get yourself to wherever the plan says you need to be, on time and ready.

    Do the Work – Do whatever the plan said to do. You’ve made a decision, now is not the time to question the plan or skip the steps. Show up. Do the work.

    Repeat – You get the idea. Decide again. Tomorrow’s plan will probably be a bit different. Athletes work on all aspects of their game to achieve success. The goals may not change. The larger plan is constant. The daily plan may look a bit different. It’s time to decide again what’s on tomorrow’s plan.

    OK, so you missed a day? Something happened to derail the plan? You only made about half the calls?
    That’s no problem, because you’re not done. You didn’t mess it all up, it’s part of the plan …
    Keep it simple. Start at Decide and go at it again tomorrow.
    Let’s stop making it harder than it needs to be. Let’s stop winding ourselves up about this new app or that new method.

    Find your ‘motivational nugget’ and let’s stop allowing a bad day to spoil the whole effort.

    You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, you probably won’t be. Keep showing up, doing the work and understand that of course it’s not about the goal – it’s the journey on the way to that one golden nugget.

  • Pre-sales over espresso?

    Pre-sales over espresso?

    Deirdre and I were enjoying our ‘one to one’ over a great espresso – right after our network Forum when suddenly she came out with a statement that took me back a little …

    “I really do need to start getting some orders out of the group soon; I need to make it pay.”

    I hadn’t seen this side of Deirdre before. I mean, we’re all working hard (to work smart) in cultivating the business aren’t we? For some of us we simply needed to ‘try the different angle’ I replied.

    So we chatted and I suggested to her that if she stays true to herself, supports her group and continues to offer help when required – and of course take any additional exposure offered, all things being true, the reward for all the effort would be plain to see.

    “I hear you, I just need to start picking up referrals otherwise it’s not worth my while.’

    worth while

    ‘Not worth my while?’ I poured more coffee.

    It’s times like these that bring a certain salience to the purposes of network relations. I couldn’t help myself; I had to ask what was her while worth? What was the number?

    I’d made my own calculations. We don’t ‘pay’ a member fee, there is no training programme to support and neither do we have a compulsory promotions strategy. The only numbers were the lunch and the time spent away from the office …

    OK, I know I’m biased. Networking has been a great support for my own business and I do understand that some who inhabit ‘network-land’ need to be claiming reward for their ‘relationship building time’ and efforts spending their ‘worth’ but I really don’t ‘get’ the time limit for referral when the bigger picture is there to see. We know it takes time to gain the confidence of others so that when I introduce Deirdre to Dear Fred who introduces her to Joe Bloggs who happens to need a whole host of regular purchases … then of course there are the other outlets they may have …etc.

    Sure, the ‘hunter’ sales mentality is still around; it has to be for some like Deirdre who inhabit ‘sales’ or ‘account management.’ For me this won’t change until the ‘culture’ of the organisation itself evolves.

    These days it’s so much easier to buy much of what you want, at the price you want when you want online and the ‘hard sell’ just does not form part of the culture.

    We need to give more time, give our audience reasons to engage us, to learn and understand our offer. ‘Pre-sales service’ plays a much greater role than many realise and even though it wasn’t working with Deirdre’s company, I’m sure many ‘savvy’ businesses are beginning to see the light.

  • Need a little job done…

    Need a little job done…

    I picked up the telephone.

    Do you know anyone who can help me with a little job I need done?

    It was Karen, a friend who helps out with email marketing, a good egg and we enjoy working together.

    I know that most of you who know me understand that I’ll help Karen, of course I will. After all, Karen is a good friend, runs a great telephony biz which in turn has been great for me – so I’m going to help her and I’m pleased she has asked me.

    Anyway, we’ve all been there, if I can’t help, I’ve some great contacts who can. Right?

    The ‘job’ entailed an internal relocation of one of her offices so there was the usual wiring and all sorts of stuff that needed an expert to attend to. An ideal job for ‘Bob.’

    ‘I’ll get right on it, no problem’ came the reply from Bob. ‘Leave it with me … and thank you for the referral.’

    It felt good to have been able to help an old friend and at the same time pass a decent referral. We like to help others don’t we? Anyway, I promptly called Karen to assure her that ‘Bob’ would be in touch and passed his details at the same time, just in case.

    A week goes by, ten days and Karen and I meet up for ‘other business’ when I happen to ask:
    “How is Bob getting on with the office relocation?”

    ‘Bob who?’ came the reply. My heart sank.
    Oh, that Bob, I’m sorry but I didn’t hear from your guy and after a week it had become urgent – so I had to find someone else – hope Bob is alright?

    Now there is no need me explaining that we’d been let down, it seems Karen hadn’t even had a call from ‘Bob the expert’ and I suppose she should have called to chase him up, I should have chased him up to remind him etc, etc. But should we? Really??

    But hey, is Bob alright? He could be ill, or had an accident – or worse. Lets just see how right he is I thought to myself as I made a mental note …

    It turns out that Bob is fine, just been ‘up to his eyeballs, that’s all’ – so busy being busy he explained and assured me he had every intention of follow up ‘that little job’ once he had the time.

    ‘No matter Bob.’ I explained that Karen had ‘sorted the office out’ and were now pressing ahead with ‘acquiring’ the adjacent office floor … after their incumbent electrician had given it the once over of course.

    ‘You just never know where the referral may lead you, do you Bob?’

    Failure to follow up, to do as you say – no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time – can not only cost you the business, it can profoundly impact the relationships and dent the hard won credibility – and who needs that in today’s business climate?

  • Gimme time, more time

    Driven. Or being driven?

    So what’s new? We all have that sinking feeling at times. Take a step back and smell the roses. It’s tough being us sometimes innit?

    Especially for the self employed, the multi-tasking ‘all things being mastered’ professional of today. It depends on how long you’ve been in business of course although with more easy access outlets for our contribution and participation – the so-called easy way to grow the business is driving us to distraction, so much so the ‘routine’ now takes up most, if not all of our precious time.

    Seems to me we’re bound up in the ever growing routine don’t you think? Besieged by a multitude of habits that forge our expectancy, test our comfort zone. Sure, we all make the choices, although let’s draw the line – face it folks, it’s the loss factor isn’t it, fear of missing out on what’s current that contributes to the growing ‘routine’ in many ways.

    moretime

    We’re allocating more of our time to chosen tasks that do not directly benefit us … but in reality, we cannot be all things to all channels … can we?

    For some this really has become the norm., no time to pencil in (yes, that gem, the pencil!) the drive for the progress, the growth, the new business. Just too busy doing “the same ole ever growing’ routine!”

    I’ve had enough – what about you? Who’s driving this life anyway??

    What if we take a few minutes (only a few) and look at what is NOT WORKING FOR US during our daily routine? What can we quit? How much time can we get back to invest in ME TIME, growth time? How does the bonus of more time really make us feel?

    By simply quitting the NOT WORKING FOR US habits and creating the ‘new’ we ditch the negative, create the space and invite the opportunity for growth.

    Try it … dare you to kick the habit(s) and ask yourself. What’s new?

  • Going the distance

    Going the distance

    I took a pit-stop for a really good coffee and cinnamon bun (couldn’t resist) with a friend yesterday, we were comparing notes, putting the world to rights and generally catching up with business.

    Gerry said he’d become disillusioned with the current network forum he was attending. Seems the weekly meeting, consisting of a half hour journey to engage colleagues he’d been meeting with for these past four months were taking it’s toll. He was of course eager to convert some business, Gerry was doing all the right things, he was getting in early, helping out at the meeting and educating as he went along.

    I simply asked Gerry what he thought was his main hang-up, putting in the effort for little reward?  Lack of recognition? The journey??

    don't confuse

    Gerry was a little taken aback.  So let me explain I suggested, (making a mess of my cinnamon bun.)

    Think about “The Journey” Gerry. You already put the routine in, consistently on time and participating in passing information, guidance – but are you buying into the person Gerry, gaining trust? It’s simple, we need patience, take more time and engage a little more, offer a little more.

    Do, but don’t throw away all the good work. Just keep doing …

    Take the Trobriand Islanders of the Solomon Sea, I said.

    The whaa…

    Patience now Gerry. The tiny scattered collection of islets situated off Papua New Guinea are home to some of the fittest, most resilient of sailors, those who know the value of visibility, partnerships and trust, the network and referral.

    They understand their tiny island economy depends on their neighbour

    With nothing more than an outrigger canoe, travelling extreme distances across open sea the head man makes a point of reaching the neighbouring island on a regular basis to engage his neighbour. Through shark-infested waters, tropical thunderstorms in nothing more than an outrigger – this ambassador habitually leaves his island to engage neighbours, to be seen, swap stories, lessons, and goods to participate in the diversity.

    He knows the value of his reputation relies on him maintaining a presence. Showing caring and contact. He also knows his family and fellow islanders will never go hungry while cultivating important reciprocal support from his neighbours.

    Each Trobriand Islander understands the value of his/her network; the same routine has been played out for centuries. Lessons are learned.

    Point taken says Gerry, I won’t ever whinge about my own journey again … support your network and your network supports you, right?

    The journey is far more important than the destination, this is where you are seen, weighed up, considered and ultimately trusted.

  • Decisions, those decisions

    Decisions, those decisions

    In business as in everyday life we make choices of what purpose to pursue, whom to engage or avoid, whether to answer mail, make that call, attend the meeting, leave ‘stuff’ for another day or clear the desks. We decide whether we beat the traffic to the ‘pumps’ via the take-away or hit the supermarket – and therefore make ever more decisions in the aisle of choice.

    The decisions WE make set up a series of events that WE ultimately become responsible for therefore the decision based on our choice can have a huge impact.

    Today friends is such a day, your decision, your choice. Here is a ‘story’ for you …

    “Blessed are those that can give without remembering, take without forgetting.”

    The Haircut …

    One day a florist went to the barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked how much he owed and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’

    The Florist was very pleased and left the shop.

    When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

    Later, a police officer comes in for a haircut and when he tries to pay the bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’

    The policeman left the shop a happy customer.

    The Next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen jam donuts waiting for him at his door.

    Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’

    The Member of Parliament was of course very happy and left the shop.

    The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

    And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the decent hard-working people of our country and the opportunists who run it.

    Choose well.

     

     

  • Tell me a story …

    Tell me a story …

    A while ago I was asked to meet up with a friend who was having trouble with his sales. A great product he has although his problem is that he knows how good the product is but doesn’t know how to engage the needy. He was coming out of a corporate background to work for himself and I could see where Phil was having trouble.

    He’d spend 20+ years steering the department instead of building. Phil was a manager and not a sales person. Not yet.

    I could only reflect on my own experience. Around 20 years ago I’d just taken a sales position selling something I knew well, I was confident although I had not the faintest idea of how to introduce the product to another.

    I did though have passion. I had attitude and I was determined. I could smile on cue, was aware that a handshake was the traditional way of greeting in these parts and I could start a conversation.

    Fundamental stuff heh?

    Even after the aforementioned revision, Phil was not there, yet.

    Skills are what he had, coming from the department production floor and into management, he was the go-to guy with the technical knowledge. But could he tell a story?

    I reminded Phil that people buy stories, not skills.

    Add a story to the fundamental method of introduction and your engagement is complete. Almost. Are they listening to you? Are you listening to them?? Too often Phil was telling me his solution and not listening to my support. Life is like that sometimes; we know we should have inkling about something as primary as personal engagement but it somehow becomes lost in the technical, the driven, and the departmental structure.

    I believe all of us are sales people but we really do need to listen to our audience, engage with dialogue. Get our prospect on side before slowly; ever so slowly we offer our own story, verse by chapter in conversation until you come to the offer of solution you have that may be relevant to their needs today.