CharlieKenny.me

people * stories * engagement

  • It’s personal.
  • Jackpot!

    I recently spent the day with a whole bunch of creative writers. It was a workshop run by the really lovely, equally fun Barbara Slade, a fantastic presenter, so knowledgeable, so well connected.

    Anyway, Barbara was talking all sorts of ways to structure the screenplay that you deserve. Highly interactive and deeply engaging. Thank you, Barbara.

    We talked about ‘Show and tell as opposed to say and tell.’ This is something I’ve been ‘banging on about’ for years; people buy into what they believe, and what better way to convince your audience than to turn up on the day and demonstrate why your story matters?

    The next part of this story is a little off-piste … although it reminded me of when I was a small boy (5 or 6?), around the time when our family lived riverside in Perth, West Australia. So, Dad was adamant that his son needed swimming lessons, and the best time to start is when they’re young. 

    Mum, not keen on the water, wasn’t bothered, not in such a hurry.

    On this particular day, we (brother, Mum, Dad, and I) boarded the family boat and set off downriver, having a jolly time when we heaved-to (boat talk for pulling up). All I now recall of that day is Mum’s horrified face as Dad collected both of his sons and tossed each over the side!

    “What are you doing?” Frantically cried Mum, watching her sons flap up and down, gulping for air.

    ‘They can’t swim, you fool!’

    “Exactly. Do the boys know that bull sharks have been spotted in this part of the river?” Dad replied.

    Somehow my brother and I clawed our way back to the boat, squealing all the way. Dad was impressed we made it back; Mum, I remember, didn’t share the sentiment!

    It didn’t matter though, because the job was done!  Mum booked us in for ‘proper’ swimming lessons after school … all because Dad turned up on the day and made something happen.

    We can wish our lives followed a different path, or that the next new face we meet was that special one we’d been looking to connect with – or we can make something happen.

    Don’t wait. Time doesn’t. Step out with your story – start with peers, today. Even if you don’t hit the jackpot, you’ll feel great by simply taking action.

    ‘People buy from people.’

  • From … The Archive of Maria Popova

    |How to Be a Living Unison: D.H. Lawrence on Harmonizing the Conflicting Parts We Live With

    The great paradox of personhood is that the sum is simpler than its parts. We move through the world as a totality, fragmentary but indivisible, clothed in a costume of personality beneath which roil parts perpetually fighting for power, perpetually yearning for harmony. The person making the choices, the person bearing their consequences, and the person taking responsibility for them are rarely the same person. 

    To live with consciousness is to own all the parts but not be owned by any of them, to choose with clarity and composure which ones to act from. To love fully — oneself, or another — is to accept all the parts and cherish the totality. 

    D.H. Lawrence (September 11, 1885–March 2, 1930) captures this with poetic precision in his personal credo, composed in response to the thirteen qualities Benjamin Franklin identified as the wisest parts of personhood — temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility. 

    D.H. Lawrence

    “The soul has many motions, many gods come and go,” Franklin had observed in recognition of our composite nature. “Know that you are responsible to the gods inside you and to the men in whom the gods are manifest.” Lawrence writes in response:

    Here’s my creed, against Benjamin’s. This is what I believe:

    “That I am I.”
    “That my soul is a dark forest.”
    “That my known self will never be more than a little clearing in the forest.”
    “That gods, strange gods, come forth from the forest into the clearing of my known self, and then go back.”
    “That I must have the courage to let them come and go.”
    “That I will never let mankind put anything over me, but that I will try always to recognize and submit to the gods in me and the gods in other men and women.”

    There is my creed.

    Art by the 16th-century Portuguese artist Francisco de Holanda. (Available as a print and as stationery cards.)

    It is not easy living with those constant visitations from conflicting gods, each with a different dictate, impelling you toward a different path. What makes it all bearable is seeing this constellation of parts as a part of something greater still — a vast and coherent universe governed by immutable laws and immense forces that vanquish the grandiose smallness of the self and its warring fragments, that render life too great and total a miracle to be met with anything but a resounding “yes yes — please.”

    Lawrence channels this perspectival consolation in his 1930 book Apocalypse(public library) — a reflection on The Book of Revelation, composed as he lay dying from tuberculosis in a sanatorium, not yet midway through his forties. 

    Observing that what we most long for is our “living unison,” he writes:

    The vast marvel is to be alive… The supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive. Whatever the unborn and the dead may know, they cannot know the beauty, the marvel of being alive in the flesh. The dead may look after the afterwards. But the magnificent here and now of life in the flesh is ours, and ours alone, and ours only for a time. We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. I am part of the sun as my eye is part of me. That I am part of the earth my feet know perfectly, and my blood is part of the sea. My soul knows that I am part of the human race, my soul is an organic part of the great human soul… There is nothing of me that is alone and absolute except my mind, and we shall find that the mind has no existence by itself, it is only the glitter of the sun on the surface of the waters.

    Complement with pioneering psychoanalyst Karen Horney on the conciliation of our inner conflicts and Scottish philosopher John Macmurray on the key to wholeness, then revisit Lawrence on the strength of sensitivity and the key to fully living.

    Thank you, Maria Popova, The Marginalian

  • Today, it’s cake!


    Hi Everyone… I recently felt that my time spent following a particular path was coming to an end. I sensed I was tired; my enthusiasm was down to a minimum … I felt we (my community practice and I) had run the race, now becoming yesterday’s flavour.

    It wasn’t until I sat with a friend who – by pure coincidence- confided that she herself felt ‘burn-out’ had become her constant companion.

    Teri is a hard worker – the market she inhabits is competitive, and over time she’s learned to work ‘it.’ She’s very aware of all her smarts. Teri is well-versed in customer needs, fluent with what she has to offer and how to adapt, and most importantly, Teri has the experience to know when to stand back and give herself room.

    ‘It’s just I’ve found myself in a familiar downward spiral, Charlie.’

    This was my light-bulb moment. (No, I don’t have many!)

    I’m so glad you’ve confided in me, Teri! You have made me happy … I said.

    Teri looked slightly indignant, smiled and carried on:

    ‘Charlie, have I triggered something in the deep mire that is over thinking? The thing you keep telling me to avoid?

    Kind of, Teri. A moment ago I was thinking similar lines to you, now I feel better! You’ve made me realise how important it is to remember where it all started …

    ‘Where what started, Charlie?‘

    Teri, we know each other pretty well. I would even suggest there are many in our network with whom we could be having the same conversation. 

    ‘Same conversation about what, exactly?‘

    Teri, it’s the undermining of our confidence the holiday season brings us, half the population are away enjoying ourselves as we seemingly languish in self pity. Remember when you first started business, Teri?

    ‘It was a while age, but yes, it was tough times, I’d been made redundant, had to learn new skills … yes, so what are you saying? I need a holiday??‘

    Not necessarily Teri – although please take me when you do decide to go, please. 

    We (you, me and many of our contacts) work to stay in touch with friends, listening for the opportunity to help and it’s tough when summer turns up. The phones go quiet, social media is full of distractions and the last thing people wish to talk of is … business!

    ‘Except you and I, Charlie.‘

    So, what I’m trying to do is placate my self doubts Teri … (yours too) … lets think how far we’ve come in a few short months/years, look at the how we overcame ‘seasonal business’ and how we succeeded by understanding that the wheel continues to turn, we simply carry on. We enjoy a little breathing space, sharpening the pencil as we support the offer our prospects know we provide so well and return to us in time.

    Seasons change, close friends never really go out of fashion Teri, they take time to adapt.

    ‘You’re no fun, Charlie. Let’s have cake!‘

  • Going off-piste

    Building relationships online is the same as in any other community. How your audience comes to see and know you through the messages we’re delivering.

    Getting to know you, that’s important.

    Often, I see people enjoying our morning business meeting, introducing themselves through networking, looking to deliver the message of what they’re looking for, and for one reason or another, they neglect to deliver the intended message, the important one, the ask that could make a difference. Instead, they’ve either fluffed the lines completely or gone ‘off-piste’ (yes, just like me.)

    We find ourselves offering a wild story that has no resonance with the vision or understanding those in the room have of us.

    Yes, community is all about relationships, trust, we know this … fun too …

    We’ve all been in the situation … when we’re aware there are choices/distractions out there that may confuse us at the very moment we’re delivering our message. This, in turn, affects how others perceive us – and it’s unwelcome when we consider that the consistent messages are those which keep us to the fore in the minds of our audience, whether online or in-person.

    Save the ‘off-piste’ comment or distractions of the weekend for the one-to-one.

    Take, for example, your favourite radio station or blog post – we come to expect the ‘angle,’ the humour or the view that the host has, understanding that the ‘message’ or values you hear from the host are delivered each time we log in … not in the exact same way, perhaps, that would be dull, wouldn’t it? 

    We’re reassured when the familiar message resonates as we’ve come to expect.

    In a way, it’s the reason why we’re tuned in to that particular station or blog.  We tune in because that’s where we feel comfortable.

    I’ve learned over the years that people gravitate to those whom they know and trust, so – trying not to be too boring – I’m learning to keep the core messages going, just packaging them up a little differently …

    ‘People buy from people’

  • Revise, plan, go again.

    As business owners, there are times when we’re so intent on making money, we forget about the fundamentals that may help drive our enterprise while we’re working ‘in the business.’

    Recognising the foundations of your business is critical and takes dedication, 6-12 months if working business-to-customer, perhaps longer working business-to-business. We know relationships and trust are important, so here’s a reminder of what (in my view) we need to address when starting out, see what resonates with you, some are obvious, others may be overlooked …

    • Fully understanding our business offer – what we do.

          Is it valuable to our prospective clients?

    • Can you describe what it is you offer in one sentence?

          Think about a catch-phrase – it’s a shortcut to the real benefits of working with you.

    • Does it cost me to produce what I provide? If so, what does it cost our clients to accept our offer?

          Give yourself a picture of how much it costs you to provide your service/item.

    • How many orders/customers do I need per month? (How long until I become a self-reliant business?)
    • Who are the customers who will benefit most? Where do I find them?

            Do I know anyone who might like to become a reciprocal introducer?

    • Do I have a brand? Is it known?

    Identify the best way to become visible (bizable?). Web/blog/social/affinity … networking …

            Grow your contact list, keep them informed, up to date and able to introduce you.

    While we’re busy now working ‘on’ the business, it is worth remembering that the cumulative effect of our efforts over time are the building blocks to our reputation. Word of mouth is so important, people like to buy from and recommend those whom they like and trust – business is personal.

    If in doubt about WHY it may be in your best interest to regularly REVISE and work to PLAN, simply remember why you initially started with the idea of making a difference.

    In the meantime, I’d be happy to help with ideas if you’d like to reach out.

  • Eureka … referral!

    I was with friends in conversation during our Tuesday Biz network when Terry, a relatively new contact turned to me and asked:

    “So, why is it I don’t ever see you ask for business, Charlie?”

    I wasn’t expecting to hear that question (although I have many times in the past) when I found myself replying … almost mechanically:

    I’ve been a host to the network for over 14 years, Terry. We run as a not-for-profit … there are no fees required to become an exclusive regular participant. The group wasn’t intended to be an income generator for The Company itself. Most agree that coming along, engaging new contacts while sharing business stories and ideas can be a great way to generate word-of-mouth interest.  More so, our forum offers a great opportunity to accelerate personal development through association in a shared, safe space. 

    To answer your question, Terry?

    ‘Business of the day’ may not be evident to those occasionally coming along on an ad-hoc basis.

    Terry thought he hadn’t made himself clear and asked again … “Yes, great for the community, but what about your own business? Aren’t you looking?”

    I’m always seeking business Terry … by looking out for others.

    Here’s what a famous man by the name of Zig Ziglar, once said:

    “You can have everything in life you want, if you just help enough people get what they want.”

    This phrase is the basis for my own business. You see, I write memoirs, enabling clients to leave a legacy. It’s not a particularly commercial enterprise, although I’ve had some terrific introductions presented to me via my networking.

    I don’t  believe everyone enjoys being sold to, and yes, I understand that some are selling to hit targets, feed the family and grow the business. I’ve been there myself! But for me, I think the time to introduce your product and services is on invitation, during a conversation. Hence networking.

    When people trust you.

    In my view, networking is about the strength of relationships developed over time, by regularly being with my community, listening and learning, actively helping them by keeping an eye out for what they may be  looking for, great business is discovered during conversation, by creating great relationships, together with a little gossip! 

    Terry, people like to buy from those whom they know and who they trust. Just ask Zig.

  • Looking further

    I was in conversation with a group of 16-18yr olds the other day. They were discussing careers, some looking to university, others apprenticeships. Some looking for work experience, most of them had become disillusioned.

    The advice I gave my new friends is the same I offer anyone who needs help. Reach out to the bigger picture. What you are looking for right now may not be right in front of you … although that doesn’t mean it’s not around.

    Think … what’s over the hill?

    ‘Yeah, Charlie, how old are you? (Stifled chuckling) 

    I get your optimism but don’t you listen to the news? There’s nothing out there …’

    Nothing that suits now … it depends on who’s news you listen to, where you look, and most of all, your attitude,’ came my reply. 

    After a little back-and-forth conversation I found myself listening to mixed messages, some were told by peers that ‘it’s no good trying,’ or ‘I’ve been in there and told there’s nothing’ to ‘my work-experience coach told me I’m not suited to the type of work I wanted as I didn’t have the experience …’

    Not helpful. I’d be looking for a new coach …

    Yes, and then there’s ‘the news of the day.’

    We cannot help our up and coming work-force by doling out negative energy day in, day out. There’s enough of that via social. Business prospects in any industry are rarely enhanced by a constant flow of media sad news. On repeat. I’d suggest leaving the analysis to the analysts. 

    For me I’m one of those guys who believe nothing I hear and only half of what I see.

    It’s certainly no help to my friends when we the agencies tell prospects they’d not be suited due to academic grades … or don’t have the experience?  

    It doesn’t inspire. So tell me, when do they get the experience if no-one offers the chance?

    I can only advise what works for me – and many others I’ve been asked to support … if you cannot see what you are looking for, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Yes, I know it’s ‘pie in the sky’ to some people … although … it’s the consistency of the message during the long-haul that gets you what you need. 

    Opportunity has a way of rewarding those who put the yards in and keep moving forward. Attitude works for you, attitude SELLS.

  • Step out

    I received a call from an old friend early last week. Geoff and I hadn’t spoken since he married and left for Denmark almost fifteen years previous and it was great to catch up. We’d originally met when introduced on a flight, London to Zurich.

    “Charlie, remember that flight to Zurich?”

    I’d surprised myself taking the offer to join a group of unknown travellers leaving London for an introduction to a paper mill. In Zurich!! At the time I wasn’t keen on sharing my precious family time away from work. This trip, ‘promised to be special,’ as the Zurich manufacturer were producing some of the most sought-after eco-friendly materials. 

    Besides, I was in the printing industry at the time and there were benefits to be had in attending. 

    I’d boarded the Friday flight and met Geoff for the first time, a thick-set fellow of around six feet, sporting long hair and a full beard. Geoff was ‘in pharma’ and very happy to be out of the office environment he inhabited. We enjoyed each other’s company, Geoff saying he was looking forward to a ‘bit of travelling’ some time soon.

    The weekend mill visit was a success, with plenty of information to ponder of future of quality papers in the fast approaching digital age.  Returning to London, Geoff and I exchanged cards, said our goodbyes and agreed that it would be useful to keep in touch.

    It was a few months later I had a call from Glaxo Pharmaceuticals. It was a Geoff.

    “I see you are only down the road, Charlie. How about coming over to my office? I think there’d be mutual benefit in a new project I have taken on …

    The meeting with Geoff was indeed of interest. He had the responsibility for a nationwide Dr/Pharma mailing of a new product release and he wondered whether I’d help in managing it!

    My company ended up ‘managing it’ and lots of other peripheral items for Geoff over the next several years and we became very good friends in the process. (Business is personal.)

    Geoff eventually followed up his dream of extended travel, leaving the pharma industry, getting married and starting a family in Denmark, so we had quite a bit to chat about during our telephone conversation … promising to catch up again, ‘very soon.’

    I often reflect on that decision years ago to step out of the routine and take the ‘flight to Zurich.’ It was one of the most profound moments of my career. A simple action – stepping out of the comfort zone, meeting wonderful new friends and sharing great business.

    So if you’re looking for the opportunity, step up and create change. Because, even if like me you think it’s ‘not really for me …’   networking works.

  • Headless Chickens

    I met Karen recently. She has a start-up business and is now looking to generate new opportunities via ‘word of mouth.’

    It’s always a pleasure to share new contacts with my own business community. The new connection is invaluable, although Karen may not ‘connect’ with everyone during her first meeting, she has the opportunity to introduce herself to many via second and third degree contacts … over time.

    Karen wasn’t looking to spend a lot of time netWORKING, you know, building for tomorrow. Karen’s mission was to uncover business for today!

    We’ve all been there!? Hey, sometimes hunting works, doesn’t it?

    I do admire those who visit groups looking for solutions to the problems of the day. Some are lucky with the one-off order – others usually leave the room with a fist full of cards, looking to follow up. Unfortunately … many sell-sell types we don’t see again. 

    The problem I had introducing Karen was that she was offering solutions to all kinds. Solutions from payroll to HR, blog posting, bookkeeping to AI templates.

    Once we’d finished the formal part of the meeting … the room broke for the follow-up when I asked Karen …’What kind of business was most important to you?’

    “To be frank, Charlie, I don’t specialise. I’m looking for any kind of admin tasks to keep me busy, pay the bills.”

    “I’m a new business, Charlie, and I’d be happy with anything.”

    I almost suggested to Karen slow down, breathe, concentrate on the one ‘offer.’ Identify the cornerstone of her business bringing her the most enjoyment? People gravitate to those comfortable in their own shoes.  I sensed this wasn’t what she was looking to hear.

    My advice to Karen? Why not make today a success and book up some meetings after our next date? Plan to establish the connection, see ‘who-knows-who?’

    Yes, I do hear what you’re saying Charlie. Although I’m so busy putting the word out, networking here and there, that I don’t really think I’ll be back in this part of town for a while … although I’ll be sure to get in touch if this changes.

    True networking is not about hunting for business. Sure, we keep our eyes and ears open for the opportunity, although I’ve learned over time that all the best results come from the cultivation of established connections … Consistent messages over a given period of time. Sound like a plan?

    People buy from people they know and trust.